it's one pm in the office of the dental hygiene department at cuny. but the clock on the wall says 9:05. that's not a good sign. it's like george carlin reminding us never to trust a dentist with blood in their hair. ten minutes later it's still 9:05. if they can't put batteries in a wall clock, will i be safe in the x-ray booth?
luckily my dentist for the day/russian model svetlana welcomes me warmly and sits me down in her cubicle. it's quite a scene, cube after cube of dentistry under a low hanging particle board ceiling with pretty serious water damage.
but svetlana's blue eyes and bleached blonde hair are a soothing balm to the treachery of pop radio emanating from speakers on all sides. can someone please shoot rhianna so there's never another disaster like umbrella? thanks a million.
after an initial look, svetlana says i have heavy calcium buildup and that we can't get it all off and take x-rays without another appointment. not a problem. i thought we would do a light clean this time and then finish with x-rays and a deep scraping next week.
instead, i'm left with a thoroughly cleaned right side of my mouth and a left side forlorn and filthy as a romanian orphan. this is totally bizarre.
why i love google image search ("dental hygiene"):
Hey, I still like "Umbrella." And all the covers of it too.
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