why not to drink

this is the last weekend of debauchery!* the bar closes its doors tuesday morning. i've informed my boss that i may be a bit late that tuesday. and by a bit i mean a lot. and by late i mean massively hungover and reeking of whiskey.

so for all of us, i thought it would be nice to have a reminder of a good reason to stay sober. thanks neil!

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

"alcohol played a large role" - HMMM YA THINK?





*at magnetic field. what, like i'm stopping?!?