yay mets! boo mets bullpen.

i took yesterday off for the final opening day ever at shea stadium. they've made incredible progress on the absolutely gorgeous new park next door - can't wait for 2009. think the mets will have hired a bullpen that can get first pitch strikes and not walk number nine hitters? cause that would be really nice.

pictures!

the importance of internet video

so the company that takes care of our office internet came in to do some repairs a couple weeks ago and discovered that they had accidentally given us unlimited bandwidth. so they scaled back our internet speed to the lowest level.

and our lives changed forever. or until the t1 line is installed.

now a 2 minute video clip takes 10 minutes to load. 10 minutes! what am i supposed to do with that time? actual work? who do these people think i am?

so people, if you have funny videos of babies laughing or people singing strange songs about chocolate rain, save them for late april when our internet is upgraded.

thanks!

oh well, whatever, never mind.

i was worried about diddy. it looked like he had tried to kill 2pac. but it's all lies!

The Times retracts Tupac Shakur story

busy monday!

ok i am busy today. no messin around. minimal posting. one thought though:

how freaking ridiculously beautiful was it on saturday? i walked all over brooklyn and manhattan with my dad, from the heights to the empire ferry, from koreatown to the west village and all points in between. my god, this city can sparkle.

SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SPRING???!?!?!

this grayness and 40 degree temperatures is so not ok. good thing i'm going to california on friday morning!

ok now i have to write things about zootopia. the lineup won't be released until tonight, but i know you'll all be knocking down my door to get tickets!

my brain on friday

if only...

red tail hawks are awesome

i've always been a big fan of the red tail hawk. they're ubiquitous out west, and i've wanted to get one tattooed on me for a long time.

but now, i've got to say, my respect for them is on a whole new level...

An omen? Hawk attacks girl with a familiar-sounding name at Fenway

(John Tlumacki/Globe Staff)

By Andrew Ryan, Globe Staff

A certain New York Yankee slugger should beware: A student taking a tour of Fenway Park today was attacked by a red-tailed hawk that swooped off its nest, drawing blood from the girl’s scalp.

Her name: Alexa Rodriguez. Her age: 13, the same jersey number the Yankee third baseman wears.

“She’s fine, a little shaken, but OK,” said Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned Rodriguez's class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn.

The eighth-grader was taken by ambulance to a local hospital and treated for the small scratch on her scalp.

The 3 1/2-pound hawk has been building nests at Fenway since 2002, but has always been chased out before opening day so she and her mate could find a new home, said Tom French, assistant director of MassWildlife.

This spring the raptor used a brown-knit cap and twigs from trees on Yawkey Way to build a nest on a green overhang near the press booth above home plate. She laid a brown-speckled egg last week, but it rolled off the nest, wasn’t properly incubated, and was no longer viable, French said.

Wildlife officials removed the egg and the nest after the hawk's attack, which was captured by veteran Globe photographer John Tlumacki.

Could it be an omen for Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who once got in a glove-in-the-face scuffle with Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek at Fenway in 2004?

“I deal in science, not mythology,” French said, refusing to make any baseball predictions based on the feisty hawk. “Although you could say she has done a good job protecting her home plate.”

rain!

it's raining.

the band

ok my band is playing at southpaw tomorrow night and it will be fun.

i think i look silly in this picture. agreed?

life tracking by feltron

this is seriously amazing you guys.

this guy tracks his life minutae to an incomprehensible level.

he's just published his annual report.

wow. this is mind-blowing.

cats.

i'm amazed that tempy hasn't put this up yet. i'm happy to share with you all a wonderful site:

http://www.catsinsinks.com/ - "for all your cat and bathroom needs"

my pants are at risk

i forgot to wear a belt today! i hope my pants don't fall down.

sloooow

in case you can't tell, it's a slow day at work. post number seven!

who are the people in this picture? and why are they having a reunion? is this an april fools joke?

talk about 420 friendly!!!!

have you read the touching eulogy for magnetic field in the village voice? it's awesome. read it!

while reading the article, an ad for this site popped up.

http://www.potpartner.com/

"Welcome to Potpartner.com, we know how hard it is for people that smoke marijuana to be accepted by people who do not. You meet a new person, but bringing up that you like to smoke is often a deal break with someone that does not smoke. So here we are Potpartner.com is a place for people to find others that enjoy smoking marijuana or are tolerant to it. Potpartner.com is not a place to come score marijuana, this is a dating site pure and simple, and for people who like to smoke marijuana. We hope you enjoy our site."

ooooh! a bag!

what's in the bag?

Nine-year-olds plotted to tie up, hurt teacher

more magical instant messaging

from my buddy living on a farm in texas.

skiznap the misadventures of 18:01
so, a raccoon came up to the front door yesterday afternoon, which is weird because they usually dont come out during the day. he then casually walked into the shed. we thought he might of had rabies, so i go the gun out. he was hiding under a sheet of metal, but i could see his eyes. i shot him right between the eyes. when we went to get him later i saw that the bullet had went through his eye and came out his ass. wow

the best karaoke performance ever

i know we've had some seriously good karaoke times together.

but can anything beat this? not even abigail singing all right now.

what is this thing?

as i laid my head on my pillow last night, there was something wrong. it was quiet. TOO quiet. no dull thump of punk rock bass vibrating under me. no drunken screams. no brawling.

what is this thing called sleep? did i really just get seven completely uninterrupted hours? i honestly can't remember the last time i managed that.

last night after work i walked to union square and it was warm and beautiful and a metalhead totally smashed himself up on his skateboard and couples kissed and all was right with the world. and then i did yoga at jivamukti and ate my favorite salad ever at the gray dog cafe and then i called my grandparents and told them i loved them and then i went to sleep.

it was weird.

saturday survey

my pops is coming into town this weekend. i thought that i would see him for like two minutes, y'know, give him a high five, tell him everything's ok now that the bar has closed and i'm no longer an alcoholic.*

but now it turns out that we'll have a saturday night to go out on the town. and i'm looking for some help!

what should i do? so far things that appeal to me are patrick stewart's macbeth, paul simon at BAM or the ukulele festival in the LES. but i'm open to anything cool that's not too late, expensive or loud.

thanks!

*not necessarily true

is this real?

ok i know it's april fools day and that the press likes to make up stories.

what do you think -- is this real?

Undersea ironing record draws press

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A group of 72 Australian scuba divers has flattened the world record for ironing under water, taking the plunge off a pier near the southern city of Melbourne with ironing boards and irons, and their linen.

So-called "extreme ironing" has spawned a cult following in recent years. The Web site extremeironing.com espouses it as being the "latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt."

The Australian group, who pipped the previous mark of 70, are seeking entry to the Guinness book of world records after taking their linen into murky, 3-metre-deep (9.8 foot) ocean on Saturday.

"It was cold and I think they were bloody crazy," local councilor Tom O'Connor, who with police helped authenticate the new record, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Event organizer Debbie Azzopardi said the group eclipsed a 2005 record set in a swimming pool at nearby Geelong, which in turn beat a world mark set in New Zealand.

The irons all had their electrical cords removed for the attempt, which took place in chilly pre-winter seas.

"I was having a chardonnay (wine) a few years ago with a girlfriend and I thought I'm going to beat that. We had a few fish going by and a sting ray. It was great," Azzopardi said.

wait, for reals? extremeironing.com. wow.

a handy tool

so google pretty much runs my life. my email. my blog. my source for maps. shopping. information. calendar. pictures. etc etc etc.

check out their newest development...

yay for internet! boo for bars closing.

it feels a little strange to actually be at work right now. i was only 45 minutes late! and then discovered that the internet for the entire building was down. awesome.

so yeah, you all know that fun died last night. magnetic field has officially closed its doors. i don't think i could put it any better than this.

it was an incredible experience, looking around last night and seeing endless faces of people i have come to care for so deeply, people that care for each other (even if "caring" sometimes means "let's drink all night"). what an amazing family that was, is, and will continue to be, in some form or another.

i am feeling awesome today. april = detox!

my new best friend, or, why i should always check craigslist

hadn't checked missed connections today. wow.

i don't think this counts as a missed connection. more like an activity partner... for some strange-ass activities.

laid back guy looking for buds to hang naked - m4m

---

i have a huge dvd collection, love to find a bud to get naked and watch movies with (real movies, independent, etc) chat, have a drink, etc, all totally naked. I had naked friends in the past and it's great to hang out, watched, be watched, and bond as buddies that way. I am a creative dude, a writer, good looking, so just looking for friends to get nude and chill, you must host.

why i love instant messaging

my friend is a 5th grade teacher. a holocaust survivor came to visit her class last week.

here's the chat transcript.

11:35:13 AM x@gmail.com: guess what i heard a 95 year old holocaust survivor say on friday

11:35:26 AM x@gmail.com: if you think being in a nazi concentration camp is hard, try being in a nazi concentration camp with your wife AND your girlfriend

11:35:56 AM x@gmail.com: the best part was he was speaking to a class of 5th graders
as if they would say "man thats rough, ive been there"

powerpoint revisited

as i explained earlier, i wrote a song about powerpoint.

as usual, the comic genius of toothpastefordinner is right there with me.

more reasons not to drink

ok, one last night people. tonight is the last night of magnetic field's life. after being sick all week and only going out friday, i think i need to get some of those so-called "rocks" off tonight.

but i just wanted to remind you not to have sex with tables.

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.

do you think he's pen pals with this guy?

evil

i'm still sick and have made it through a half day but i'm done.

here's one last horrible, horrible thing before the weekend. i'm sorry. but i can't resist.

why not to drink

this is the last weekend of debauchery!* the bar closes its doors tuesday morning. i've informed my boss that i may be a bit late that tuesday. and by a bit i mean a lot. and by late i mean massively hungover and reeking of whiskey.

so for all of us, i thought it would be nice to have a reminder of a good reason to stay sober. thanks neil!

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

"alcohol played a large role" - HMMM YA THINK?





*at magnetic field. what, like i'm stopping?!?

sicko

i took my first sick day yesterday. y'know what's awesome? i still get paid! suckers.

i have some work to do since i was out yesterday.

did you hear it might snow tonight? is anyone else totally over it?

pitchfork = cool... right?

my band luff is mentioned in pitchfork. i think that means we are cool.

Blonde Redhead, Jesu, Black Francis Cover the Cure
As do CocoRosie, Tanya Donelly, Raveonettes, Bat for Lashes, Rosebuds, Brunettes, Ariel Pink
The sheer number of Cure cover/tribute albums already in existence is pretty goddamned absurd, so does the world really need two more of these things? Well, if you're willing to wager on a bunch of bands who have done us good in the past, the answer is yes.

Both Just Like Heaven: A Tribute to the Cure and Perfect as Cats: A Tribute to the Cure (henceforth known in this news piece as Heaven and Cats, respectively) boast fairly formidable rosters of indie rockers trying their hands at Robert Smith and company's best mope-alongs.

Heaven comes at us courtesy of American Laundromat Records and will feature the Raveonettes, the Rosebuds, the Brunettes, Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies (not to be confused with Stars of Track and Field), Elk City, Joy Zipper, and Grand Duchy (aka Black Francis and Violet Clark), among others, tackling pretty much all the hits: "Close to Me", "Just Like Heaven", "Lovesong", "In Between Days", "Pictures of You", and so on. If American Laundromat sounds familiar, they also did that (almost) all-lady Neil Young tribute.

The Raveonettes: "A Forest"
Grand Duchy: "A Strange Day"
The Submarines: "Boys Don't Cry"
Elk City: "Close to Me"
Kitty Karlyle: "In Between Days"
Luff: "Jumping Someone Else's Train"
Joy Zipper: "Just Like Heaven"
The Rosebuds: "Killing an Arab"
Cassettes Won't Listen: "Let's Go to Bed"
The Brunettes: "Lovesong"
Elizabeth Harper & the Matinee: "Pictures of You"
Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies: "The Lovecats"

get charlie off the MTA

coming to work early this morning, i realized the utter importance of working a job in this town that starts at 10 am. the crush of people was suffocating - i can't wait until i get to do that all summer long!

but here's the problem - tomorrow i'll have to buy my first monthly pass since the fare increase. $81 a month, no small change on my meager (to say the least) nonprofit salary.

hey, at least the system has a monthly pass - i have friends who commute in san francisco on BART that pay $150 a month, and that doesn't covert the buses/streetcars/cable cars. thank goodness the auto industry bankrupted effective public transit systems in the bay and all over the country....

but as i shuffled gingerly in my tiny space on the train, it didn't make me any happier that the MTA has postponed that all of the proposed developments that were the supposed reason behind the fare increase. awww, did the poor little MTA lose some money?? join the freakin' club!

i was all excited that the G train was slated for serious improvement - as the bastard child of the subway system, it could definitely use some work. and since i've just joined a kickball team called "booze on first" that plays in mccarren park, it would really be awesome if the g train was even a little more usable.

i guess it still is the train to nowhere.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww NOT WATER

reach into the fridge. pull out a nice, cold bottle of water. take a big swig. ahhhh, refreshing, isn't it?

AAAAAHHH IT'S NOT WATER!!!!

WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE TASTE?!?!?

look at the bottle. it says "Nestle Pure Life Kiwi-Strawberry Splash."

dump bottle out of window and fill with tap water.

DAMN IT NOW MY WATER TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRY YOGURT.

hospital visits

i work for a nonprofit that organizes musicians to play in hospitals.

too bad we don't work with animals...

Hospital bridles at horse in lift

The hospital's policy is to inspect all animals brought by visitors

A Hawaiian hospital has restated its rules on pets after a man took a horse up in a lift in a bid to cheer up a sick relative with his favourite steed.

Man and beast were stopped by security guards only after reaching the third floor, after apparently passing through the lobby unchallenged.

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

A hospital spokeswoman said there was a visitation policy for dogs and cats, but not for horses.

"We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse," said Lani Yukimura at Wilcox Memorial Hospital.

"It's a very dangerous thing. Our greatest concern is patient care."

Security managed to remove the visitor and the horse with "just a few scuff marks", she added.

According to the Star Bulletin newspaper, the man had arrived after staff at the front desk went home, and called from the lobby to announce his arrival.

After he and the horse were escorted out, he put the animal in a trailer in the car park and left, the paper adds.

In case you missed it:

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

a letter to the internet

dear internet,

i want to watch youtube clips and listen to streaming audio.

why are you preventing me? how can i entertain myself?

and now my internet company won't answer their phone. booooooooooo!

my eyes hurt

i've spent the last five hours designing a CD label. thanks, avery, for making your labels mac-unfriendly.

my hands are covered in ink. my mouse and keyboard are covered in ink. my desk is covered in ruined labels.

boooooooooooooooo for monday.

easter excess

hello folks. i am tired. did you go to church yesterday? i was going to catch an afternoon service but someone lied about the schedule. so my church consisted of eating fantastic food and watching basketball.

jesus hates me. for the second year in a row.

but even jesus would have been jealous of our easter spread. grass-fed roasted lamb, peach-bourbon glazed ham, pork-fried collards, quiches, sweet potato gratin etc etc etc.

the buddhist grace from thich nhat hanh i said before the meal asked that "we take only that which nourishes." i'm afraid that was a little tough to follow.

also i met this guy named christopher who is an awesome photographer.

going in reverse, saturday night was the last night i will ever bartend at magnetic field.

:(::::::

that's supposed to be a crying emoticon but i think it looks more like a penis. it's not. it's me crying. stop laughing at my tears.

one more week left! it's really the end of an era. there are huge shows all this week so i have a feeling that my current tired state will last for quite some time.

friday night was the last MF show by my friends klimpter. they are awesome and it was sad to see them one last time on their home turf. :(:::::




maybe last exit should just build a stage. that would solve a lot of these emotional issues around the field closing.

enjoy your monday!

shopping!

i am done with the press kits and they look awesome!

i am going shopping. i love staples. i love going to staples with a corporate card even more!

who needs a new printer?

400th post!

averaging 200 posts a year. not too bad! having a full time desk job has definitely helped.

i said it yesterday, but i am SO TIRED of it being so cold. i just got the day off to go to the mets' opening day and it better be warm by then! go mets!

i have a lot of work to do today! i hope you can entertain yourselves. look at my friends' blogs if you're bored.

this is it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok that's better. sometimes i just need to scream. whew!

honest r&b

thanks lynne for this marvelous video. it won't embed for some weird reason, so you'll have to just go here.

anniversaries

turns out yesterday wasn't just my blog's two year birthday. it was also five years in iraq! five years. vanity fair & joseph stiglitz & linda rimes say the true cost of the war is 3 trillion dollars. way to spend, us! that's just terrifying isn't it? not as terrifying as accidental anal replacement. thanks tempy!

and today, appropriately, is the 50th anniversary of the peace symbol. have you ever wondered where that symbol came from? bbc, thank you for TOTALLY BLOWING MY MIND.

semaphore?!?!?!

the slog of march

i don't know how y'all are feelin but if it doesn't get warm soon i'm going to start going crazy. it's close, so very very close. but days in the high 30s are only ok without wind gusts of 25-30 miles per hour. it's bad enough down by the harbor, but in the deep chrome canyons of loudest manhattan, jeez it can get pretty intense. it just takes so much out of me, surviving this cold, forcing my way through the bitter breezes.

i guess i should count my blessings that i don't live in minnesota any more!

three degrees above zero with the wind chill right now in international falls. that is rough.

favorite videos

ok i obviously don't expect you to have time to watch all of these, but here are my favorite videos from the last two years. what a perfect way to spend a rainy afternoon!

nasal irrigation

earl weaver

she's the one

filipinos forced to dance

90210 twins

tokyo wave pool



adorable baby



AFSCME



star wars beauty queen



how not to make bread



frozen grand central

favorite pictures

my favorites

after a quick scan of two years of entries, i think these are my favorites. enjoy! let me know if i missed any of your favorites.

the one that started it all

the flying cat of columbia street

how to get kicked out of carnegie hall

biking to the mermaid parade

it's life and life only

stealing from the neighbors

i am the hunter

lesson: always check your elevation

a story of disaster

creepy conversation

reluctant prophesy

drinking with oedipus

halloween

life after people

how to smoke in bars

still to come: favorite pictures and videos. but i should probably get some work done!

two years!

today marks two years that i have been sending my words/pictures/videos into your eyes via the series of tubes we call internet. that means it's been two years since i moved to new york!

that is just crazy and makes me feel old. but when i think about it, well, i moved to new york with a goal.

believe it or not, it was not to be a bartender and stay up til dawn every night. although that was pretty fun for a while.

and neither was my goal to nanny, although i had some great times with those nutty kids.

no, my actual declared goal was to move to new york and work at the intersection of music and health care. and that's actually what i'm doing!

so even if i feel old, i also feel pretty awesome about that.

i have some work to do this morning but check in later - i have a special recap of the past two years that i'm putting together.

thanks for reading!

xo j

really?! really?!?

so madonna has directed a movie.

"Described as a romantic musical comedy, "Filth and Wisdom" tells the story of a Ukrainian immigrant who finances his dreams of becoming a rock star by moonlighting as a cross-dressing dominatrix."

MADONNA. HOW DARE YOU. STOP STEALING MY LIFE STORY.

as you prepare for easter, a meditation

some perspective

it's one thing to call someone gay as an insult. here's what we call "taking it to the next level." (thanks lynne)

insults

when i was a kid, my friend went to the u.k. and came back explaining that the playground taunting was 1000 times worse than here in the states.

he'd even seen a poor little fat kid crying surrounded by a circle of dancing, chanting children singing "you're a terrible person, you're a terrible person" over and over again.

that's even funnier when you imagine it in a british accent...

a new survey of u.k. teachers reveals this generation's most used insults:

Gay (83%)

Bitch (59%)

Slag (45%)

Poof (29%)

Batty boy (29%)

Slut (26%)

Queer (26%)

Lezzie (24.8%)

Homo (22%)

Faggot (11%)

Sissy (5%)

we are talking about some seriously homophobic kids here!

new shit has come to light

now, those of us originally from oakland know that tupac is obviously still alive. have you listened to don killuminati? the proof is all there.

before he was supposedly killed, he was attacked by a number of unknown gunmen.

according to the LA times, those gunmen may have been hired by

SEAN PUFFY/PUFF DADDY/P.DIDDY COMBS.

p.diddy denies all allegations.

also an interesting part of the story - in the 1994 shootout, tupac accidentally shot himself in the groin. oops!

powerpoint

so i wrote this funny little song about how awesome an office administrator i am and i played it last night.

people seemed to like it and i've had some requests for the lyrics. here they are! maybe some day i'll get off my lazy ass and record it.

my powerpoint is better than your powerpoint
the transitions are so smooth and clear and right
my powerpoint is better than your powerpoint
you couldn't do better if you stayed up all night

my document is better than your document
do you notice how the tabs line up so well?
my document is so much better than your document
seeing my perfect document must be hell

because i am the microsoft master
i get it all done faster
i make the office suite my bitch
you're working dusk til dawn
five minutes and i'm gone
my skills are gonna make me rich

my email is better than your email
i know to bcc my friend
my email is better than your email
you might as well just not hit send

my spreadsheet is better than your spreadsheet
the cells are linked in such a thoughtful way
my spreadsheet is so much better than your spreadseet
in fact, your spreadsheet is totally gay

i am the microsoft master (master)
i get it all done faster (faster)
i make the office suite my bitch
photoshop is next
i'm way past editing text
my skills are gonna make me
my skills are gonna make me
my skills are gonna make me rich

one more picture

i forgot to post this one of my former boss pouring beer on me... thanks boss.

picture time!

this is me singing "feel like makin love" by bad company.

oh live band karaoke, how i will miss you.

thanks for the pics jay!

ps

the only problem with a rock star weekend is monday morning.

rock star weekend

talk about going out with a bang!

friday was the last live band karaoke ever and man oh man, did we do it right.

i seem to remember winning the award for most shirtless... before i even took my clothes off. just one of those nights.

for some reason i can't download jay's pictures at flickr but if you feel like sorting through 500 pictures of drunken mayhem, follow the link above. they're priceless.

thank you so much to those of you who made it to the show last night. it was like a life reunion - three people from my high school in california, friends from college, fellow musicians... i can't believe that's the last time i'll take the stage at the field. i couldn't have felt better about how it went and i'm totally motivated to play more shows. i'll keep y'all posted on that front.

anyways, it's monday and i should probably get some work done!

don't let a crane fall on you today.

garfield minus garfield

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

felonies of moral turpitude

some time last year i got into a late night conversation with my friend "rob" about crime. he's a bear of a man, a gigantic puppy with a heart of gold.

turns out he's a convicted felon.

ha! the things you don't know about your friends!

he was busted driving through alabama and the cops found a single seed of pot on the floor of his car. i'm shocked that one seed was enough for a felony conviction, but i guess they're a bit harsh in alabama.

last week i saw this article in the times:

In Alabama, a Fight to Regain Voting Rights Some Felons Never Lost

it turns out that in alabama only felons convicted of crimes of "moral turpitude" - breaking and entering, rape, crimes against society - lose their right to vote.

i thought back to our conversation from many months ago. i called a mutual friend and told him about the story - he said he'd remembered that it was in tennessee. i forgot about it.

then last night i went downstairs for a nightcap.

my friends were at the bar and this big bear of a man wraps his arms around me.

man, i owe you a hug, he says. i'm close to crying, he says. i talked to my lawyer yesterday, and i can vote again!

hooray for voting!


btw, check out the article above. legislation to ease the process to return voting rights to felons was opposed by republicans. i wonder why....

Marty Connors, the chairman of the state Republican Party: "As frank as I can be, we’re opposed to it because felons don’t tend to vote Republican."

there's a shocker.

congratulations "rob"! vote early and vote often.

cleaning

i'm cleaning up my office area!





aren't you glad you read this?

what we want

have you seen "her" myspace page?

and by her i mean "kristen!"

FIVE DIAMONDS!!!!

her music, um, not so much.

http://www.myspace.com/ninavenetta

artwork!

yesterday i made my first flyer!

here it is.

it's for my show on sunday.

you should come!

the big news

yeah, spitzer has resigned. lieutenant governor david paterson will take office on monday. talk about the blind leading the blind! sorry, that might be a little offensive.

in all seriousness though, my friend the secretary of state in minnesota thinks that paterson is brilliant and will be an amazing governor. so that's cool.

but here's the big news!


are you ready for it?


i hope you're ready!



a dolphin rescued two beached whales in new zealand!

how awesome is that?

the original story (with video) is here.

A dolphin has come to the rescue of two whales which had become stranded on a beach in New Zealand.

Conservation officer Malcolm Smith told the BBC that he and a group of other people had tried in vain for an hour and a half to get the whales to sea.

The pygmy sperm whales had repeatedly beached, and both they and the humans were tired and set to give up, he said.

But then the dolphin appeared, communicated with the whales, and led them to safety.

The bottlenose dolphin, called Moko by local residents, is well known for playing with swimmers off Mahia beach on the east coast of the North Island.

Mr Smith said he gave the dolphin a pat to say thank you

Mr Smith said that just when his team was flagging, the dolphin showed up and made straight for them.

"I don't speak whale and I don't speak dolphin," Mr Smith told the BBC, "but there was obviously something that went on because the two whales changed their attitude from being quite distressed to following the dolphin quite willingly and directly along the beach and straight out to sea."

He added: "The dolphin did what we had failed to do. It was all over in a matter of minutes."

Back at play

Mr Smith said he felt fortunate to have witnessed the extraordinary event, and was delighted for the whales, as in the past he has had to put down animals which have become beached.

He said that the whales have not been seen since, but that the dolphin had returned to its usual practice of playing with swimmers in the bay.

"I shouldn't do this I know, we are meant to remain scientific," Mr Smith said, "but I actually went into the water with the dolphin and gave it a pat afterwards because she really did save the day."

hooray for bike riding?

last night i stepped out of the subway after work and found myself invited to a dinner party. what i didn't realize is that the hosts had been drinking sparks all day, which made for a hilarious scene. it was sort of like hanging out with people on speed. which is pretty much only fun if you're on speed too. and since i think sparks is just about the most foul beverage on the planet, i passed and became merely a spectator to the caffeine/taurine/guarana/ginseng fueled madness.

since it's getting on the warm-ish side of winter, i decided to ride my bike. it's still a little cold to ride comfortably, but it wasn't so bad. actually nice to be back on the wheels after most of a winter away.

but i don't think my body was ready for it. i think i tweaked something. something...important.

it feels like someone has grabbed my left testicle. and not in a good way. and they won't let go.

testicular pain makes everything easy and awesome! have a great day!

happy birthday!

today is my friend elaine's birthday! happy birthday elaine.

it's also the birthday of a one dock ellis.

my baseball-minded readers will know mr. ellis.

for those who don't, dock ellis pitched for a number of teams including the pittsburgh pirates.

in june 1970, dock was under the impression that he wasn't pitching that day. so he dropped acid with his girlfriend. and then discovered he was actually pitching.

imagine your worst moment on acid. i don't have any since i've never taken drugs*, but i know some of you have. now imagine that worst moment AT WORK.

whew. that would truly suck.

here's the crazy part: HE PITCHED A NO-HITTER.

you can read the story here:

I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the (catcher's) glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me.

*not necessarily true

why to avoid teenagers

i try to stay away from teenagers. other than my sister* they're pretty obnoxious. even early 20s seems young to me now. my god, am i really pushing 30? more like it's pushing me.

sigh.

anyways, here's a great story about how awesome teenagers are.

STDs rife among US teenage girls.

thanks for ruining all the fun, bbc!



*the one who actually reads my blog

elections

did you know that other countries have elections too?

malaysia has just elected a new prime minister.

he better watch his back!

your morning meditation

i'm still working on oliver sacks' musicophilia -- with breaks for vonnegut's the sirens of titans (thumbs up) and rob sheffield's love is a mixtape (thumbs somewhere in the middle).

this morning he was discussing learned muscle activity and explained that

fetal horses gallop in the womb.



one word: ouch.

chuck norris is awesome.

"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

new sins

yes, thank you for pointing out the new sins, tempy. you just beat me to it.

speaking of new sins...

hmm... why isn't the new york times site loading?

maybe it's because

NEW YORK GOVERNOR ELIOT SPITZER HAS ADMITTED HE IS LINKED TO A PROSTITUTION RING.

keep an eye on that one!

who you gonna call?

whew, what a weekend. losing an hour in the middle of the night sucks.

"it's cool, i'll head home at 2."

WAIT IT'S 3 AM OMG DID I JUST BLACK OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST HOUR?!?!?!?

that was sort of my experience on saturday night.

yesterday i rested and played guitar and went and saw be kind rewind, which is a very silly movie. basically michel gondry wanted to make home movies with jack black and mos def. i can't find the full versions, even though at the end of the movie it said we could go online and find them but of course i don't remember the exact URL. so a preview will just have to do.

books!

i love em. don't you?

well now i've been asked to write for one. yeah!

they want me to write about the power of blogging to reach a mass audience.

ha! i hope all four of my regular readers found that hilarious.

no, it's a book about arts and HIV. a university press and everything!

details to follow.

a long goodbye

ok i know this is a little more wordy than i usually tend to post but too bad. i'm starting to realize that the field closing means more than a quiet night of sleep. that bar closing means the end of a place where i know there'll always be a friendly face and a warm hello. and in this harsh and unforgiving place that is new york city, that is priceless. and i'll miss it.

there's one more chance to sing live band karaoke, and it's next friday the 14th. but here's their goodbye letter from paul's blog - the original post is here.



Goodbye Magnetic Field

Needless to say, we are all heartbroken at the news that Magnetic Field is closing. We're looking for another regular venue but for all the guys in Bunnie England & The New Originals, the Field has been our home away from home and the staff our second family. We've been doing live band karaoke at the Field for almost 4 years now and I think all the guys in Bunnie England would agree that playing at the Field has been the most rewarding and fun experience we've had as musicians.


Here is something you may not know….Bunnie England & The New Originals would not exist if it wasn't for William Crane and Magnetic Field.


I've known William since 1999 when we both worked for Deja.com along with William's then future wife Cena Pohl and Field co-owner Stephen Freeman. Deja was one of those cool but ill-fated dot.com's that disappeared after the dot.com bubble burst around 2000. William and I remained friends after Deja went away and I was psyched when William told me that he was going to open a bar. He had very big ideas about the décor (sci-fi western?), talked about what a great music venue it was gonna be and mentioned something about a game show??? He told me that owning a bar had always been a dream of his and I was excited by his excitement.


A few months after the bar opened, I got a call from William asking me to put together a live karaoke band to play at the Field. I promptly said NO because I was already in a couple of bands and wasn't too sure about doing the "cover" thing. William was persistent and after a few phone calls in which he mentioned something about actually paying the band and the possibility of all the free beer we could drink, it seemed like a no-brainer. I asked Paul Gil, my band mate in Bastards of Melody, and Dave Noel of the late-great Mexican Elvis if they would like to join me in this endeavor and they both said yes! (I figured they would when I mentioned the thing about the free beer.) Thus, Bunnie England & The New Originals was born.


William even gave us our name….Back when William and I worked at Deja.com, we had a company band. Lot's of great musicians worked at Deja so it seemed like a cool thing to do if for no other reason than to play at the company Christmas parties. I played guitar, William played drums and Cena played bass. The other band member shall remain nameless at this time….Anyway, William was already using the name Dick Swizzle and dressing up as the old, drunk, used up, Vegas style game show host we've all come to know and love. Some of the other band members also had nicknames so I wanted one too. I came up with some really lame ones that nobody liked. Then one day, out of the blue, William walked up to me and said "you're Bunnie England." I have no idea how he came up with it or what it meant but it sounded cool so I was Bunnie England…at least for that day.


Fast forward four years - We still hadn't come up with a name when we decided to schedule our first live band karaoke show at the Field, but William went ahead and started promoting the show on the Field website as "come sing with Bunnie England." I really didn't want to be a "solo artist" but William already had the ad up on the site. What to do…I asked the guys in the band if they had a good idea for a name and Dave Noel started doing that scene from This Is Spinal Tap in an English accent…"we were the Creatures, then the Lovely Lads, then the Originals, then the New Originals..." That was it. We put the two together and viola! Bunnie England & The New Originals, the world's greatest live karaoke band.


I don't know how many shows we've played at the Field, probably close to 100. The Field opened up a lot of doors for us including a long running residence at the Cutting Room in NYC where we backed up some semi-famous TV stars such as Chris "Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire" Noth from Law & Order and Horatio Sanz from Saturday Night Live (we couldn't get him off the stage.) We were also featured on NYC's TV25 and have played tons of private parties and various and sundry clubs and bars in New York and New Jersey.


The staff at the Field always treated us like the rock stars that we thought we were. Thanks to William and co-owner Lee Greenfeld who let us use their gear, hired great soundmen and, as mentioned, kept us well "lubricated" during Bunnie England shows.


We have some great memories of the Field including the crazy, over the top, way too much fun Kentucky Derby parties hosted by Michael Boyd, Nina singing "99 Red Baloons"…in German!, the guy who nailed "I Feel Good" complete with authentic James Brown dance moves, William spraying beer all over the stage while singing "Crazy Train" and slipping and falling on his ass (this happened more times than William cares to remember) and Bunnie England host Steve Reynolds blowing us away the first time he sang "Surrender" with us.


Thanks also to all the regulars including Boyd, Ed, Jon Quinn, John Sic, Aggie, Abigail, Jessica, Billy Reno, Miguel, Joe, Cindy, Matt, Katherine, John McD, Gregor, Kathryn, Marya, Jamie, Melanie, Cassie J and YOU if we left you out…Thanks also to the staff past and present: William, Lee, Devon, Charlene, Michelle, Jonah, Matt and Kate.


Oh yeah, I guess we should thank all the great drummers we played with at the Field, if I can remember them all….Scott Treude (Grandma Death!), Troy Messina, Jeff Prosetti and Dave Noel.


We've got two more Field shows and hopefully we'll see you all again when we get settled in our new digs, wherever that may be. Bye bye Magnetic Field, thanks for birthin' us. We're gonna miss ya.


Paul Crane (Guitarist - Bunnie England & The New Originals)

i have a dream

last night i had a dream that i was bartending and this super drunk guy came in and i wouldn't serve him and he got mad and i asked him to leave and he jumped behind the bar and picked up a garbage can and started throwing up and then he threw up on me and then i got mad and he got madder and put down the garbage can and pulled out a gun which i knocked out of his hand and then i started throwing glasses and bottles at him until he left and then i got in trouble for breaking glasses.

the end.

how to smoke in bars

looks like they've found a loophole in the new-ish smoking ban in minnesota. turns out smoking is permitted in theatrical productions. so they've turned the bars into "theatre"...

At The Rock, a hard-rock and heavy-metal bar in suburban St. Paul, the "actors" during "theater night" do little more than sit around, drink, smoke and listen to the earsplitting music.

"They're playing themselves before Oct. 1. You know, before there was a smoking ban," owner Brian Bauman explained. Shaping the words in the air with his hands, like a producer envisioning the marquee, he said: "We call the production, `Before the Ban!'"

....One bar on northern Minnesota's Iron Range, the Queen City Sports Place, calls its nightly smokefest "The Tobacco Monologues."

i have decided

that karaoke is awesome. anyone who wasn't at the field last night missed a magnificent display. i seem to remember falling asleep to my bed vibrating to people screaming I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL etc.

now if only i had any voice left today...

do... re... ME ME ME ME

as if this blog wasn't the ultimate form of self-obsession already...

here is video of me on TV! this version is much more exciting than the old video.

good morning

toothpastefordinner

guess who i just talked to?

marky ramone's manager. she was trying to find a nonprofit to partner with for this:

yay 2007!

i'm working on my taxes this morning. when the boss is away, the workers will... play? i wouldn't quite call doing my taxes "playing," but it's nice to relive the wonders of 2007 and the four-figure income i made last year. man, that was the high life!

it's official, i have become utterly obsessed with pandora. the aretha franklin station had me bouncing through the monday doldrums. i've merged all my stations today into a quick mix. i know you're curious. here are the stations i'm mixing:

aretha franklin
marvin gaye
the meters
bill frisell
sigur ros
mum
john coltrane
juana molina
sufjan stevens
iron & wine
the velvet underground
tom waits
prince
stars
andrew bird
the besnard lakes
the rolling stones
the flaming lips
los campesinos
the arcade fire
the magnetic fields
the b52s
atom & his package
mates of state
neutral milk hotel
the mountain goats

now that is some fine lis'nin. nothing quite jumping from prince to tom waits!

post number 357

good morning! what a beautiful day. incredible how a little warmth and sunshine can change your outlook on everything.

also, this is the sweetest thing i've read in a long time. thanks again, craigslist!

Intelligent atheist white man seeks sweetie

I'm a single atheist white man, 54, reputedly intelligent, with unusual interests in politics, science, music and dance.

I'd like to meet a woman with varied interests, curious about the world, comfortable expressing her likes and dislikes (I hate struggling to guess), delighting in her ability to fascinate a man and in being loved tenderly, who values joy, truth, beauty and justice more than "success"--so we can share bouts of intense, passionately kind awareness of each other, alternating with tolerant warmth while we're absorbed in other aspects of life.

My 23-year-old child, the Free Software Movement, occupies most of my life, leaving no room for more children, but I still have room to love a sweetheart if she doesn't need to spend time with me every day. I spend a lot of my time traveling to give speeches, often to Europe, Asia and Latin America; it would be nice if you were free to travel with me some of the time.

Reply and we'll see where it leads.