31 August 2007

a toy for the weekend

it's going to be stunningly beautiful this weekend. i don't recommend spending much time inside. but if you happen to be at a computer, take a second to play with this:


it's an amazing resource. you can't download anything, but you can stream searchable audio content.

for instance, here's the band i'm going to see at south st seaport right now:


have a great weekend! the adventures will return on tuesday.


it was cold and windy at the pool.ttt6gttytt dammit my t key is still broken.

the last rose of summer

before i head to the pool, i just realized that it's the last day of august.

did you achieve your summer goals? i sure didn't. that happened way too fast.

so in honor of the death of summer, here's a beautiful little song from tom waits:
i love the way
the tattered clouds
blow wind across the sky

as summer goes and leaves me
with a tear
in my eye

i'm taking out my winter clothes
my garden knows what is wrong
the petals of my favorite rose
in shadows dark and long

though every year
it's very clear
i should be carrying on

but i can be found
in the garden
singing this song

when the last rose
of summer is gone

hold all my calls

if anyone needs me, i'll be at the floating pool. 1 pm and 3 pm sessions, if you're in the neighborhood. last chance before the weekend chaos descends!

the dark side of opera

now, let me remind you that i balls-out love opera. but take a look at this story about the sordid excess of the opera lifestyle. drinking too much, cocaine usage, even shooting steroids into inflamed vocal chords.

i don't think this is what paul potts had in mind.

fashion police or institutional racism?

in some places, it is now illegal to wear sagging jeans. really? what a waste of lawmakers' time. and unbelievably racist.

30 August 2007

four days in a row

i'm taking full advantage of the last week at the floating pool. i hear the bronx gets it next year - isn't a zoo enough for them?

talkin bout last night

softball massacre, mets travesty. not the best evening of my life. but a couple shots of whiskey later i found myself at speigelworld.

this place is a little strange. they're down at the south street seaport with a million dollar view and have a tent where they have burlesque shows and live music and who knows what else. we sat looking out at the bridges, being blasted by horrible techno and waiting for the show.

doors at midnight? jack and ginger for twelve dollars? manhattan is crazy.

luckily the show was worth the wait. death vessel, not so exciting. o'death, very exciting. "appalachian apocalypse," as one reviewer called it. banjo punk, slamgrass, whatever you want to say, this band fucking rocks. i am pretty sore from the mosh pit. but when do you ever get to bounce around a pit with a banjo player?

pictures shamelessly lifted from brooklynvegan.com -- last year's o'death speigeltent show:

29 August 2007

have you heard?

has anyone heard about paul potts? he's a phone salesman. and he won britain's got talent.

check this out. it made me cry.



new developments

soon adventures in brooklyn will soar to new heights. it will climb buildings and hang from ceilings. it will dangle upside down and kiss movie stars in sexy ways. it will use these new found powers for good, not for evil.

with great power comes great responsibility....

scientists have discovered how to make a spider-man suit.

hells yeah. but what's up with the picture in this intriguing bbc article? you finally figure out how to hang on ceilings using artificial gecko hands... and you go to the mall???

28 August 2007

blog survey

my extra cool bosses were nice enough to give me a birthday present of an itunes gift card. now the question becomes, what to get? comments welcome.

27 August 2007

putin's pecs

looks like i'm not the only one who was impressed with putin's glistening abs. click here...

why i love shopping

i'm always on the lookout for something exotic at key food...

23 August 2007

back to school

after years of feeling turned off by academia and the isolation of the ivory tower, i've finally found the school for me. i'm starting this fall!

watch this and think about your future. i'm going to spend the afternoon designing my custom superhero and listening to arguments in arabic outside my window.

Borman Academy

22 August 2007

change of plans

this was supposed to be the week to hang out poolside, get a nice top layer of summer tan to last through the winter, play beach volleyball and relax on my patio with my talking plants and my zero gravity deck chair.

and now it's chilly and gray. damn you weather!

so i'm going to see stardust. should be awesome. not as awesome as this fantasy movie coming out for xmas. be sure to read the book this fall!

in the meantime, did i mention that the T key on my keyboard is broken now? all i have left is a little plastic nipple that i can rub to make Ts appear on screen. it's a total pain in the ass. i guess it's nice to have a nipple to rub...

remember how much i love you.

whew, sorry about that last one. it's funny, i didn't realize i was in a funk until i started writing and it all came pouring out. i think these cold gray days have a whole lot to do with it.

i'm about to crash after finishing paul aster's the brooklyn follies, but luckily paul has provided me with a wonderful passage before bedtime.

sage advice from page 296:
Try to roll with the punches. Keep your chin up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Vote Democrat in every election. Ride your bike in the park. Dream about my perfect, golden body. Take your vitamins. Drink eight glasses of water a day. Pull for the Mets. Watch a lot of movies. Don't work too hard at your job. Take a trip to Paris with me. Brush your teeth after every meal. Don't cross the street on a red light. Defend the little guy. Stick up for yourself. Remember how beautiful you are. Remember how much I love you. Drink one Scotch on the rocks every day. Breathe deeply. Keep your eyes open. Stay away from fatty foods. Sleep the sleep of the just. Remember how much I love you.

21 August 2007

jonah and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

yuck. a cold, gray, rainy day. i'm in manhattan, working for a disorganized company that really couldn't care in the slightest whether i show up or not. i'm reading a great book and all i want to do is get back on the subway and read. it's a bad sign when i'm excited to leave work and get on the subway.

there's no solidly funny odd news to share, no pictures of drunken cats (which remarkably got more email responses than any blog entry in a long time) or of half-naked russian presidents.

i have a bad cough.

a friend of mine was date raped last night.

i think i'll move to australia.

17 August 2007

blogging on the beach??

great body surfing at ft tilden. but watch that undertow!

no blog entries today

i'm biking to the beach. no blog today. well, except this. and maybe a pic or two from the beach. smooches!

16 August 2007

see below for title of entry

hot and sticky,


how i learned to stop worrying and love public storage.

i spent the afternoon with my sister getting some of her many things out of storage and into boxes. then we took the boxes to the post office. un-air-conditioned storage halls AND the post office.

best day ever, obviously.

15 August 2007

my day off

if you haven't been to the floating pool, you have two weeks left. i plan on being here every day. join me?

in other news

i finished four songs last night.

one is about my sister.

one is a fictional account of almost dying of malaria.

one is about sunsets.

one is about a girl, using a coyote as a metaphor.

they are all not too bad.

man, i've missed songwriting! i don't think i can post mp3s or i'd put them up for you. maybe i'll join the myspace that people have been talking about.

news in review

today's shocking discoveries:

turns out chernobyl is 'not a wildlife haven'. there's a shocker.

the latest in the saga of 4real: his kiwi parents are dedicated to keeping their baby named 4real but are stifled by ultra-conservative new zealand baby-naming laws that prevent the inclusion of numbers. so they're going to legally name their baby superman. and then just call him 4real anyways.

news for the lonely: presenting the boyfriend pillow.

ms suzuki explains the appeal: "it keeps holding me all the way through. i think this is great because this does not betray me."

in other news, our president has been outdone. you think he looks this good with his shirt off? daaaaaaang, putin. i'd go fishing in tuva with you any time.

14 August 2007

where am i right now?

under silver trees in madison square park.

a revelation!

I just learned how to send pictures from my phone right to my blog.

my new favorite customer

"can i have a stoli razz, midori and watermelon pucker with cranberry and pineapple?"

no. you can't. go back to manhattan.

be gentle

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that's the fallout from me breaking my t key in the middle of an email. be gentle with your laptop. putting keys back on is a total pain in the ass.

13 August 2007

magic has returned

maybe it's because i've just finished reading the magical (and highly recommended) book jonathan strange and mr norrell. maybe it's the perseid summer meteor shower. whatever it is, something has awoken a familiar and still not quite understood power in me.

all of a sudden i don't need to look at the phone to see who's calling. i think of people who've been out of my life and they return. gypsies appear at the bar. i hear my tarot deck calling from wherever it was lost. no ghosts... yet. but i think they're close.

don't mean to creep y'all out. anyone else feeling the same way?

09 August 2007

shimmering night sky

last night i went to the mets game, a great game, the best i've been to this year.

the highlight? the come from behind victory was wonderful. but on this sweltering, humid night, the hottest temp at game time in six years at shea, the highlight was provided by the SNY baseball card giveaway.

when the mets tied the game in the 7th, people started throwing the shiny cards down from the upper deck. the throwing spread quickly throughout the stadium and soon the dark thick sky was filled with glittering cards slowing falling on the fans in the lower decks. eventually the staff in the sny booth threw a huge pile of cards out their window and the crowd roared.

america's pastimes together at last: baseball and littering.

08 August 2007

thanks bbc

i try and check the bbc newswire often enough to give myself a break from the propaganda machine that is the american media.

but today, they've really outdone themselves.

thank you, bbc, for these pictures of drunk cats.

what a night

i love sleeping in, probably a little more than i should, but i think it's understandable given that i work past 4 am on a regular basis.

last night i stayed sober, went to bed early and tried to get a good night's sleep, but those of you who live in the new york area know what happened next.

we got rocked. and not in a good, ears ringing, sweaty kinda way. a massive thunderstorm descended on the city. i just read that every single subway line in the city is at least a little flooded, and the basement downstairs is a disaster.

i love thunderstorms. but not at six am. and i think they're a lot more fun with company.

07 August 2007

NO REAL THAN YOU ARE (two pictures)

an awesome car accident in moscow. driver amazingly unharmed.

a mysterious giant lego block that appeared overnight on beach in holland.

mystery solved

the craigslist missed connection wasn't about me. sigh...

06 August 2007

the anniversary of hiroshima

after months of depressing entries about slogging through drunken dawns, i've made an effort to steer things towards a more humorous take.

but today is the anniversary of the bombing of hiroshima.

just wanted to point something out:

estimated casualties at hiroshima: approximately 70,000.

estimated iraqi casualities since the US invasion: approximately 70,000.

more toothpaste

have i told you about toothpastefordinner.com? only about a million times.

here's my newest favorite:

today's mystery, brought to you by craigslist

who was working?


monday picture

what do you get when you mix red hook, a busted fire hydrant, a beach cruiser with bud light detailing and a wide angle lens?

my new favorite picture:

03 August 2007

an extremely productive day

i woke up late after closing the bar at 5 am. i've had a couple of pretty good nights this week behind the bar -- always nice to come back from vacation and have fun at work. so i decided to do some shopping today:

the knut diet

since everyone's favorite source for knut-related news is taking a break, i thought i would make sure to post the latest update.

as you may know, knut is the polar bear rescued by the berlin zoo.

big news today: knut is on a diet! he's down from four meals a day to a measly three. and no more croissants! now that just seems harsh. i actually wasn't aware that polar bears liked croissants, or that their snacking habits might be detrimental. he does look pretty portly these days -- you can click here to see video of the lard-ass.

i'm not the biggest fan of zoos; they tend to depress me and make my anarchist tendencies rise to the surface. i still don't think the oakland zoo has accepted my apology for freeing their ring-tailed lemurs.

at the same time, my god, does knut have it easy or what? the planet earth series on discovery had footage of a polar stuck in stew of melting ice cap, struggling to find footing and swimming for miles and miles, desperation and hunger pushing it to eventually risk a fatal attack on a walrus herd.

and knut gets croissants. well, not any more. so maybe some animals can take solace in zoos.

eating a croissant seems much easier than eating a live walrus.

02 August 2007

interstate 35w

just so y'all know, it looks like all my twin cities people are safe and sound. how does a bridge just fall down?