30 January 2009

song of the day

is not actually a song... but it's an audio file. close enough, i say?

this is old but it's still awesome!

a cop stole pot from a suspect, made brownies with his wife, and then thought he was dying!

you can listen to his 911 call here.

"what's the score on the red wings game? i just want to make sure this isn't an hallucination."

29 January 2009

song of the day proves controversial.

i'm not sure i should stick with this... i pissed off steve by stealing his idea (i would guess not really too badly though) and then i really pissed off mike doughty (see comments) ... or someone pretending to be mike doughty.

it would be kind of weird, right? if mike doughty took my blog post personally? i just thought the last couple albums have been a little overproduced. "ghastly" was harsh.

i love mike doughty. i can even recite a fair number of doughty's songs from start to finish. oh doughty. please forgive me. remember the show at the charles river bandshell? maybe 1998? you signed my friend's dugout. you wrote that you did not condone. that was awesome.

song of the day

i haven't had a very easy time recently coming up with funny things to say. see below, 'cello scrotum.'

so i have decided to sort of steal from my friend steve. hey, i bet you're thinking, steve is a pretty nice guy, why are you stealing from him?

well, steve has this great blog with songs of the week. i am going to go on a voyage on the one ups man ship. i am going to try and post a new song every day! that way i will always have something to say. because you all know that i have a hard time thinking of things to say.

today: snow in new york, and i hear the bells. a rare quality song from mike doughty's ghastly solo albums.

28 January 2009

cello scrotum.

Peer reveals 'cello scrotum' hoax

A top doctor has admitted her part in hoodwinking a leading medical journal after inventing a medical condition called "cello scrotum".

Elaine Murphy - now Baroness Murphy - dreamt up the painful complaint in the 1970s, sending a report to the British Medical Journal.

She came clean when the hoax resurfaced in the 2008 Christmas edition.

A BMJ spokesman said the inclusion and subsequent debunking of "cello scrotum" had "added to the gaiety of life".

Anyone who has ever watched a cello being played would realise the physical impossibility of our claim
Baroness Murphy

The spoof was inspired by a similar report of a phenomenon called "guitar nipple", which happened when the edge of the guitar was pressed against the breast, causing irritation.

"We thought it highly likely to be a spoof, and decided to go one further by submitting a similar phenomenon in cellists, " wrote Murphy - and her husband, in the latest edition of the journal.

"Anyone who has ever watched a cello being played would realise the physical impossibility of our claim.

"Somewhat to our astonishment, the letter was published."

Baroness Murphy, formerly a professor at Guy's and St Thomas' Hospital in London, did not sign the 1974 letter herself, fearing that she might get into trouble.

Her husband John, now chairman of a Suffolk brewery, signed it instead.

Scrotal flak

The couple said that they had been "dining out" on the hoax for years, but decided to confess after seeing "cello scrotum" referenced in an article last month in the journal.

A spokesman for the BMJ said that, 34 years on, no-one faced the sack for failing to spot the implausible condition.

He said: "We did, actually, get a letter from another doctor at the time pointing out how unlikely it was.

"We may have to organise a formal retraction or correction now. Once these things get into the scientific literature, they stay there for good. But it all adds to the gaiety of life."

His point was illustrated by a brief search of other medical journals - with "cello scrotum" referenced several times over the years, including by one scholar who debated whether it was in fact an awkward contact with the chair, rather than the instrument itself, that might be the source of irritation.

26 January 2009

Cat fight

I just broke up a fist fight! On a crowded subway!

Two women had bumped into each other trying to get on the F train and one was like uh-unh shorty, back off bitch! And she slapped the other woman and they started slapping each other's faces and wrasslin against a door. A couple people along with me pulled them apart and then I stood like a bodyguard between them, silently with my arms crossed, with a plastic covered library copy of italo calvino short stories in one hand and the other shaking a bit from adrenaline.

They kept yelling at each other until a lady cop further down the train was like, shut the hell up, don't make me call the cops... Which I found confusing.

yeah! carroll gardens!

pictures of my neighborhood!

new york times slideshow!

beat the monday blues... with a monkey on a segway.

21 January 2009

seen this before?

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

14 January 2009

a flying car!! sort of.

check out the cnn video about this "flying" car. i like that the inventor is drinking through the press conference.


i am SO not impressed.

08 January 2009

the best amazon product review. ever.

1,385 of 1,406 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The Secret saved my life!, December 4, 2007
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be anally raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
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700th post! hells yes.

adventures in dance-a-raoke. how awesomely fun does this look? the next one is february 4th.

07 January 2009

why never to go skiing

Chairlift mishap strips US skier

A skier was left dangling from a chairlift at an American resort after he became stuck upside-down with his ski trousers round his ankles.

Photos show the man naked from his waist to his knees, swinging from one leg, and still wearing both skis.

He became entangled shortly after boarding the Skyline Express lift.

The lift was stopped and reversed about 12ft (3.6m) before he was freed by the Vail Ski Patrol, Vail Resort said in a statement about the 1 January incident.

The resort operator said the 48-year-old man was suspended for about seven minutes, but was uninjured.

06 January 2009

have you seen man on wire?

seriously it's the best movie i've seen in a long time. i'm a sucker for documentaries but this one is really special.

go and see it. for reals. so good.


i have been totally slacking off. AGAIN! i have no excuse. well, my adventures have slowed somewhat. but still, i'm not working, so i really should be posting a whole lot.

my most recent exciting adventure was shopping. post christmas sales baby! i got a new pair of frye boots for christmas. omg they are so pretty!