pirates of the mta

i take the bus often.

that statement may be anathema to some new yorkers. some of those same people are even my friends!

but for certain routes, buses fill the gaps in subway service. from 34th and broadway to 34th and 1st ave is way too far to walk given my cane-laden existence. so i take the bus to physical therapy.

and today, i got a taste of why my friends hate the bus.

mid-queue, a man with a patch over one side of his glasses screamed AAAHHHHHRRRR in a somewhat pirate-like manner and yelled at some shoppers who had bumped into him. if you've ever stood in the shadow of the enormous macy's at 34th street, you'll understand that a little jostling at the intersection is inevitable. saying it's crowded there is like saying lots of people live in india. it's an understatement.

not all folks with patches are pirates, and not all folks with patches are insane. but this man was pushing the envelope on the latter.

later, on the bus, he looked at a woman chatting on her cell phone, pointed a shaky, wizened finger and began to scream.

TURN THAT OFF RIGHT NOW! DO YOU SEE THE RULES? IT SAYS NO RADIOS! THAT PHONE EMITS MICROWAVES!

YOU ARE KILLING US ALL!


now that i think about it, i've seen much crazier people at far more regular intervals in and out of the subway. so i would say it's unfair to blame the bus system for my encounter with this aged urban pirate.