09 March 2007

signed, frustrated in jackson heights

moxie is sleeping. she's adorable, an 18 month old who i'm watching every friday. makes me miss my kids, the incredible world of wonder that young children inhabit. moxie's vocabulary is expansive and she makes great linkages. i say, do you want to go outside? and she says, coat. hood. soft. soft. she knows what's important.

so now moxie is down for her nap, i'm just getting over the maddening trip into queens -- over an hour due to "a security situation" -- read: someone left their backpack behind. and now i've been asked to cover a shift at the field tonight, the late shift til 4 am. i know, i said i wouldn't write depressing entries about bartending any more, but this time it's not the work that's getting to me. it's the lack of it. since red hot cut my hours at the beginning of the year, things have been getting tight, and now that monkeytown and stanton social haven't worked out, things are really tight, so much so that i have no choice but to take this shift. the problem is that i had a whole evening planned with michelle, and now that's out the window. it's still butt-ass cold here, so it's not like i'm even going to make that much money, but i have to take what i can get. i'm trying not to spend money but it's hard, this city eats money like so many moths in a library.

i guess my laziness is to blame, feeling like i could make ends meet without packing my schedule with work. but it looks like i've got to find more work before the moths find my savings. with the upcoming trip to spain (which isn't particularly cheap), it'd be hard to get anything -- hello, give me a job but in 6 weeks i'm leaving the country. not gonna happen.

i'm starting to see why jessie is ready to move to portland.

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