my new best friend, or, why i should always check craigslist

hadn't checked missed connections today. wow.

i don't think this counts as a missed connection. more like an activity partner... for some strange-ass activities.

laid back guy looking for buds to hang naked - m4m

---

i have a huge dvd collection, love to find a bud to get naked and watch movies with (real movies, independent, etc) chat, have a drink, etc, all totally naked. I had naked friends in the past and it's great to hang out, watched, be watched, and bond as buddies that way. I am a creative dude, a writer, good looking, so just looking for friends to get nude and chill, you must host.

why i love instant messaging

my friend is a 5th grade teacher. a holocaust survivor came to visit her class last week.

here's the chat transcript.

11:35:13 AM x@gmail.com: guess what i heard a 95 year old holocaust survivor say on friday

11:35:26 AM x@gmail.com: if you think being in a nazi concentration camp is hard, try being in a nazi concentration camp with your wife AND your girlfriend

11:35:56 AM x@gmail.com: the best part was he was speaking to a class of 5th graders
as if they would say "man thats rough, ive been there"

powerpoint revisited

as i explained earlier, i wrote a song about powerpoint.

as usual, the comic genius of toothpastefordinner is right there with me.

more reasons not to drink

ok, one last night people. tonight is the last night of magnetic field's life. after being sick all week and only going out friday, i think i need to get some of those so-called "rocks" off tonight.

but i just wanted to remind you not to have sex with tables.

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.

do you think he's pen pals with this guy?

evil

i'm still sick and have made it through a half day but i'm done.

here's one last horrible, horrible thing before the weekend. i'm sorry. but i can't resist.

why not to drink

this is the last weekend of debauchery!* the bar closes its doors tuesday morning. i've informed my boss that i may be a bit late that tuesday. and by a bit i mean a lot. and by late i mean massively hungover and reeking of whiskey.

so for all of us, i thought it would be nice to have a reminder of a good reason to stay sober. thanks neil!

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

"alcohol played a large role" - HMMM YA THINK?





*at magnetic field. what, like i'm stopping?!?

sicko

i took my first sick day yesterday. y'know what's awesome? i still get paid! suckers.

i have some work to do since i was out yesterday.

did you hear it might snow tonight? is anyone else totally over it?

pitchfork = cool... right?

my band luff is mentioned in pitchfork. i think that means we are cool.

Blonde Redhead, Jesu, Black Francis Cover the Cure
As do CocoRosie, Tanya Donelly, Raveonettes, Bat for Lashes, Rosebuds, Brunettes, Ariel Pink
The sheer number of Cure cover/tribute albums already in existence is pretty goddamned absurd, so does the world really need two more of these things? Well, if you're willing to wager on a bunch of bands who have done us good in the past, the answer is yes.

Both Just Like Heaven: A Tribute to the Cure and Perfect as Cats: A Tribute to the Cure (henceforth known in this news piece as Heaven and Cats, respectively) boast fairly formidable rosters of indie rockers trying their hands at Robert Smith and company's best mope-alongs.

Heaven comes at us courtesy of American Laundromat Records and will feature the Raveonettes, the Rosebuds, the Brunettes, Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies (not to be confused with Stars of Track and Field), Elk City, Joy Zipper, and Grand Duchy (aka Black Francis and Violet Clark), among others, tackling pretty much all the hits: "Close to Me", "Just Like Heaven", "Lovesong", "In Between Days", "Pictures of You", and so on. If American Laundromat sounds familiar, they also did that (almost) all-lady Neil Young tribute.

The Raveonettes: "A Forest"
Grand Duchy: "A Strange Day"
The Submarines: "Boys Don't Cry"
Elk City: "Close to Me"
Kitty Karlyle: "In Between Days"
Luff: "Jumping Someone Else's Train"
Joy Zipper: "Just Like Heaven"
The Rosebuds: "Killing an Arab"
Cassettes Won't Listen: "Let's Go to Bed"
The Brunettes: "Lovesong"
Elizabeth Harper & the Matinee: "Pictures of You"
Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies: "The Lovecats"

get charlie off the MTA

coming to work early this morning, i realized the utter importance of working a job in this town that starts at 10 am. the crush of people was suffocating - i can't wait until i get to do that all summer long!

but here's the problem - tomorrow i'll have to buy my first monthly pass since the fare increase. $81 a month, no small change on my meager (to say the least) nonprofit salary.

hey, at least the system has a monthly pass - i have friends who commute in san francisco on BART that pay $150 a month, and that doesn't covert the buses/streetcars/cable cars. thank goodness the auto industry bankrupted effective public transit systems in the bay and all over the country....

but as i shuffled gingerly in my tiny space on the train, it didn't make me any happier that the MTA has postponed that all of the proposed developments that were the supposed reason behind the fare increase. awww, did the poor little MTA lose some money?? join the freakin' club!

i was all excited that the G train was slated for serious improvement - as the bastard child of the subway system, it could definitely use some work. and since i've just joined a kickball team called "booze on first" that plays in mccarren park, it would really be awesome if the g train was even a little more usable.

i guess it still is the train to nowhere.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww NOT WATER

reach into the fridge. pull out a nice, cold bottle of water. take a big swig. ahhhh, refreshing, isn't it?

AAAAAHHH IT'S NOT WATER!!!!

WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE TASTE?!?!?

look at the bottle. it says "Nestle Pure Life Kiwi-Strawberry Splash."

dump bottle out of window and fill with tap water.

DAMN IT NOW MY WATER TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRY YOGURT.

hospital visits

i work for a nonprofit that organizes musicians to play in hospitals.

too bad we don't work with animals...

Hospital bridles at horse in lift

The hospital's policy is to inspect all animals brought by visitors

A Hawaiian hospital has restated its rules on pets after a man took a horse up in a lift in a bid to cheer up a sick relative with his favourite steed.

Man and beast were stopped by security guards only after reaching the third floor, after apparently passing through the lobby unchallenged.

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

A hospital spokeswoman said there was a visitation policy for dogs and cats, but not for horses.

"We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse," said Lani Yukimura at Wilcox Memorial Hospital.

"It's a very dangerous thing. Our greatest concern is patient care."

Security managed to remove the visitor and the horse with "just a few scuff marks", she added.

According to the Star Bulletin newspaper, the man had arrived after staff at the front desk went home, and called from the lobby to announce his arrival.

After he and the horse were escorted out, he put the animal in a trailer in the car park and left, the paper adds.

In case you missed it:

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

a letter to the internet

dear internet,

i want to watch youtube clips and listen to streaming audio.

why are you preventing me? how can i entertain myself?

and now my internet company won't answer their phone. booooooooooo!

my eyes hurt

i've spent the last five hours designing a CD label. thanks, avery, for making your labels mac-unfriendly.

my hands are covered in ink. my mouse and keyboard are covered in ink. my desk is covered in ruined labels.

boooooooooooooooo for monday.

easter excess

hello folks. i am tired. did you go to church yesterday? i was going to catch an afternoon service but someone lied about the schedule. so my church consisted of eating fantastic food and watching basketball.

jesus hates me. for the second year in a row.

but even jesus would have been jealous of our easter spread. grass-fed roasted lamb, peach-bourbon glazed ham, pork-fried collards, quiches, sweet potato gratin etc etc etc.

the buddhist grace from thich nhat hanh i said before the meal asked that "we take only that which nourishes." i'm afraid that was a little tough to follow.

also i met this guy named christopher who is an awesome photographer.

going in reverse, saturday night was the last night i will ever bartend at magnetic field.

:(::::::

that's supposed to be a crying emoticon but i think it looks more like a penis. it's not. it's me crying. stop laughing at my tears.

one more week left! it's really the end of an era. there are huge shows all this week so i have a feeling that my current tired state will last for quite some time.

friday night was the last MF show by my friends klimpter. they are awesome and it was sad to see them one last time on their home turf. :(:::::




maybe last exit should just build a stage. that would solve a lot of these emotional issues around the field closing.

enjoy your monday!

shopping!

i am done with the press kits and they look awesome!

i am going shopping. i love staples. i love going to staples with a corporate card even more!

who needs a new printer?

400th post!

averaging 200 posts a year. not too bad! having a full time desk job has definitely helped.

i said it yesterday, but i am SO TIRED of it being so cold. i just got the day off to go to the mets' opening day and it better be warm by then! go mets!

i have a lot of work to do today! i hope you can entertain yourselves. look at my friends' blogs if you're bored.

this is it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok that's better. sometimes i just need to scream. whew!

honest r&b

thanks lynne for this marvelous video. it won't embed for some weird reason, so you'll have to just go here.

anniversaries

turns out yesterday wasn't just my blog's two year birthday. it was also five years in iraq! five years. vanity fair & joseph stiglitz & linda rimes say the true cost of the war is 3 trillion dollars. way to spend, us! that's just terrifying isn't it? not as terrifying as accidental anal replacement. thanks tempy!

and today, appropriately, is the 50th anniversary of the peace symbol. have you ever wondered where that symbol came from? bbc, thank you for TOTALLY BLOWING MY MIND.

semaphore?!?!?!

the slog of march

i don't know how y'all are feelin but if it doesn't get warm soon i'm going to start going crazy. it's close, so very very close. but days in the high 30s are only ok without wind gusts of 25-30 miles per hour. it's bad enough down by the harbor, but in the deep chrome canyons of loudest manhattan, jeez it can get pretty intense. it just takes so much out of me, surviving this cold, forcing my way through the bitter breezes.

i guess i should count my blessings that i don't live in minnesota any more!

three degrees above zero with the wind chill right now in international falls. that is rough.