man, that would suck

i don't know if you heard, but whole continents have lost internet service and it may not be up for a while.

how are these people entertaining themselves at work? how are they keeping abreast of the britney situation? what are their sources for video of sedated cats?

i feel for you people, i really do.

stupid undersea cables.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh is very different from AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

the event is over and a smashing success. it was one of the most stressful days of my entire life. not a big surprise that it was a little challenging: four different DVD and slideshow inputs on 13 video screens and having them look sharp and at the proper aspect ratios with the proper timing and synced up with a soundtrack and live stage cues... whew!

but i did meet gavin degraw and danced with germany's next top models. and by with i mean on the balcony above them. close enough.

thanks for emails and texts of encouragement -- especially all who let me know that the mets had picked up santana!

since we had an official photographer i didn't bring my camera but i'll let you know when there are pictures online.

for now:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

the benefit

crunch time.

did i tell you seal is performing?

he's bringing along his pretty wife.

that would be heidi klum.

did you know her legs are insured for $3.5 million dollars?

she's bringing some friends.

did i mention that

THEY ARE THE CONTESTANTS ON GERMANY'S NEXT TOP MODEL?

well they are.

it's my job to host them.

no, that last one isn't true. but i wish it was.

dancing

the benefit is tomorrow! aaaah!

and now, dancing.

glumbert - Best wedding first dance ever

the reuters board

so i've been working on various design elements for our upcoming benefit -- invites, flyers, full page ads in fader, entertainment weekly and people etc. i've learned a huge amount about design in the past couple of months but i would never imagine that i would ever take part in something so grand.

on monday and tuesday, go to times square at the corner of 43rd and 7th avenue. look up.

i made this!

dammit

sorry to miss the match game last night. i'm sure it was family-friendly fun, just like dick always is.

for the second day in a row, i've been at the hard rock cafe in times square before 10 am. times square is pretty much my least favorite place on earth, but damn, before i've had my coffee it's just brutal. although it is cool to see people up on cherry pickers with giant swiffers cleaning the displays.

the dammit title is for the feeling i had when i opened my bag this morning and discovering i'd left my book at home. staring at dr zizmor ads is not my idea of a good subway ride.

it's probably all for the best though, because i'm reading foucault's pendulum by umberto eco, which is a little bit like reading a book in a foreign language that i don't understand very well.

"o ? with the ? in the arms of ? and forced by ? to make a sacred vow that ? would revere" etc etc etc.

a new world order

turns out a couple of welsh crazies have started

the CHURCH OF THE JEDI.

We would read out essays members of the congregation have submitted on their feelings about the Jedi and the Force: do meditation, relaxation and visualisation techniques and a bit of light-sabre training.

check out the linked article, especially for the picture of darth vader with the tagline

It is hoped Jedi church members will resist Darth Vader's dark side.

well, i think i know what their theme song will be:

never forget

marriedtothesea.com

yo momma's on crack rock

here's a link to video of amy winehouse smoking crack.

"The star, her new bottle-blonde hair looking dull and lifeless, then drifts through her lounge in search of the next fix."

below: why i love image search.

life after people

this morning as i ate my yogurt and granola i watched the first few minutes of the new special on the history channel called life after people.

i learned a couple of things.

1) computer animators love to create footage of big things falling down. like bridges, skyscrapers and apartment complexes.

2) if the sump pumps that keep new york subways groundwater-free were to stop working, the tunnels would fill with water within 36 hours.

3) footage of starving dogs trying to pry open refrigerators makes me want to cry.

DON'T WATCH LIFE AFTER PEOPLE IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY.

this is from the show's website:


Small Dogs - Bred over hundreds of years to be smaller, easier to care for and to require less food and exercise, small breeds of dogs, like the ever-popular chihuahuas, Yorkshire terriers and pugs, will have difficulty staying alive after the demise of their owners. Although they can be highly intelligent, these small dogs have short legs and little strength or endurance, which will make it difficult for them to compete for food-if they can even make it out of the house, the first test of their survival. The smallest dogs probably won’t last a week without humans.

i have a dream

i have a dream.

that i wasn't working today.

r.i.p.

rest in peace bobby fisher.

you were a damn fine chess player.

but man you were weird.

oh say can you see...

can you imagine if our national anthem didn't have words and we just sang LA-la la la la LA instead? sort of fun i think.

MADRID (Reuters) - Proposed new lyrics for Spain's national anthem have stirred national divisions rather than pride and have been scrapped, the Spanish Olympic Committee said Wednesday.

Spain's "Royal March" national anthem has been played without words since 1978, when lyrics approved by right-wing dictator Francisco Franco were ditched.

With the Beijing games approaching, Spain's Olympic committee held a competition to find new words for the anthem rather than see its athletes hum along or chant "la, la, la," as has long been the case.

Spanish opera star Placido Domingo was to be the first to sing it.

But the winning version was leaked and met derision in the Spanish media and among members of parliament responsible for approving the lyrics.

The anthem's opening words, "Long live Spain!" had an authoritarian ring to them and one prominent left-wing leader said they "stank" of the Franco era.

The nationalistic tone did not appeal to separatists in the Basque Country and Catalonia.

Not even the political right showed much enthusiasm for the words written by an unemployed 52-year-old, Paulino Cubero, who said he wanted lyrics that would appeal to ordinary Spaniards.

"The words needed to unite and have a general consensus. But we have seen the controversy they have caused and have decided to withdraw them," Spanish Olympic Committee Chairman Alejandro Blanco told a news conference.

"We are continuing with the idea that the hymn will have words and that Placido Domingo will sing them at the presentation."

Domingo said he backed the decision.

"If these words aren't generally acceptable, we have marvelous writers that will be able to come up with something. But I don't want to go with something that causes controversy," he said

The Olympic committee will next meet on January 22 to see if it is possible to find national anthem lyrics that get all Spaniards singing off the same song sheet.

there is a reason

there is a reason why computers shouldn't come with built-in cameras.


of all the swag we give away, kazoos are definitely my favorite.

300th post!

i'm back into the swing of things, i guess. made it to 300! i woke up at 6 am and headed straight to work. our big benefit is just around the corner and things are getting a little hairy.

so i'll have to let another clip speak for me. in honor of the new magnetic fields album, here's stephen merritt... on a local news morning show.

when you choose to interview a sardonic writer of anti-love songs, be ready to face the consequences.

SANTANA ROCKS OH YES!!!

how not to kill a mouse

we have a mouse living in our stove. i thought maybe cooking things in the oven might make him/her uncomfortable. so far no such luck. and now i'm having second thoughts about my technique.

Blazing mouse sets fire to house

A US man who threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves could only watch in horror as it ran into his house and set the building ablaze.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, found the mouse in his home and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he was quoted as saying by AP.

Though no-one was injured, the house and everything in it was destroyed.

"I've seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one," Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said.

New Mexico has seen several major blazes after unseasonably dry and windy conditions which have destroyed 10 homes and devastated more than 53,000 acres (21,200 hectares) of land.

best headline of 2008

yeah, i know we're only 11 days into this year.

but so far, i haven't seen a better newsheadline:

News Flash: Universe Still a Mystery

speaking of gross...

twins separated at birth accidentally get married. wow.

new sights

y'all know how much i love the toothpaste. and having it for dinner.

what you may not know is that drew, the artist who runs toothpaste, is also a talented writer. in one of his old posts which i can't seem to find, the ohio native described a trip to new york city.

and what did he take away from a weekend in this glorious epicenter of culture?

he noted the lack of bathrooms.

yes, it is a problem, and i've got to say the day i spent in the lower east side with a pregnant friend was quite a challenge. that baby-to-be pressing on her bladder brought us to some interesting places in search of relief.

drew's technique was to pretend to be very, very drunk and fall down in the gutter. bushes also work well. once stationed properly, he would unzip his pants, pee in the gutter, zip up and walk away.

genius. if a little gross.

but drew, i am happy to say, at least in the flatiron district, you now have options.



read about the "first flush" ceremony here.

for the ambitious cripple

ok, so i am busy right now. i think about posting but dammit, i have a lot going on.

when i get off work, i like to get home and relax in a comfy chair. hmm, i wonder what it would be like if i could take that comfy chair on the road?


something like this, maybe?

what not to say

report on espn this morning:

Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman has apologized after saying during Friday's telecast of the PGA Tour's opening event that today's young players should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley."

According to New York Newsday, a spokesman for the network said Tilghman apologized on Sunday's telecast and has reached out to Woods' representatives to express her regrets for the comments.

Tilghman, who played college golf at Duke, works as the main play-by-play announcer during The Golf Channel's PGA Tour telecasts.