the art of translation. except not.

starting the week with spiders on drugs.

wall-e

i love animation. i just saw kung fu panda last weekend, which was amazingly awesome. in particular, i love pixar's movies. they are fantastically good storytellers. i watch their movies with wide-eyed wonder and feel like i am five years old again. and that is true magic.

and now we have the newest pixar movie, wall-e.

i don't know if you've read any reviews yet, but i've read a few.

check out the summaries from radar online:

"Some day, there will be college courses devoted to this movie." —New York Post

"WALL-E has become 2008's first perfect film..." —Hollywood Chicago

"I must drop my inhibitions about dropping the M word -- especially since I've already used magnificent -- and call WALL-E the masterpiece that it is." —Wall Street Journal

"The idea that a company in the business of mainstream entertainment would make something as creative, substantial and cautionary as WALL-E has to raise your hopes for humanity." —Washington Post

"Enough to restore your sense of wonder not only in movies, but in the universe as well." —MetroMix.com

"The first hour of Wall-E is a crazily inventive, deliriously engaging and almost wordless silent comedy of the sort that Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton used to make." —NPR

"Mixing Chaplinesque delicacy with the architectural grandeur of a Stanley Kubrick film..." —Globe and Mail

"Daring and traditional, groundbreaking and familiar, apocalyptic and sentimental, Wall-E gains strength from embracing contradictions that would destroy other films." —Los Angeles Times

"It can hardly be called a children's film, but a masterpiece of feature-film animation for all ages." —TV Guide

"One of the best movies of the year. Just so beautifully done." —Richard Roeper

I WILL SEE YOU AT THE THEATER ON SUNDAY!!!!

this makes me smile considerably.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

txt me l8r

i thought i texted a lot. but i guess not. hannah, this is for you.

15-year-old girl sends 15,000 texts a month

CANTON, Ohio --

A 15-year-old Stark County girl is very competitive: she gets good grades, plays sports and also has a natural talent at cell phone texting.Each month, she sends and receives thousands of messages. Paige Horne plays volleyball and basketball for her high school and her GPA is above 3.0.But Paige has another talent. She can text message someone faster than you can blink an eye. She averages about 15,000 texts a month.

She didn't know about her hidden talent until she went to the cell phone store to get her phone fixed."When I went to the store to get my phone fixed, he told me the reason it might be dead because that many text messages," said Horne.Just like LeBron James with a no-look pass, she can even text without looking."I just don't look. I guess I had the phone a long time and I just know where the buttons are and I just hit them," she said.Her texting does have a curfew, however: On school nights, the phone is shut off at 9 p.m. Her phone plan has unlimited texting included.

deli magazine!

the deli is not only a new york institution. it's also a music magazine.

check out one of their recent features! it's an interview by lauren piper! about my band!

Luff stuff that muffs by Lauren Piper Luff delivers dynamic, post-rock tunes that merge sonic pieces of sound with vibrating bass and heavy distortion. Their recent album’s title track, “Blanket Ice,” fills the speakers with warm and clanging drums as Sheila Sobolewski’s chilling female vocals whisper gently overtop. Both instinctual instrumental sections and brilliant vocal melodies keep the songs exciting and scenic feeling. “Parachutes and Propellers” shows off the band’s skills at blending and layering their instruments from deep bass riffs to lighter, more celestial elements of guitar and electronic texture. Melding styles reminiscent of Mogwai and the experimental influences of Sonic Youth, Luff brings together a swaying, ambient sound with unique vocals and deeper, distorted aspects of drum and bass. Definitely check this band out, the music is peaceful and capturing but still testing out the waters of unpredictability. If each member of your band could be a super hero, what would your powers and names be? Jonah: What do you mean &quotif" we were superheroes? Superpowers are a pre-requisite for being in the band. You have to like Yo La Tengo first, and then you have to demonstrate some magnificent display of your power, and then you're in. Robin: Mind Bender. The power to turn assholes into nice people. Sheila: I'd like to travel time. I could sort some shit out with that power. Captain Do-over. But what this town really needs is Rent Control-a-tron. Do you have any motivational songs or foods before you write music together? Jonah: We eat gluten-free wasabi-flavored Japanese rice crackers before most rehearsals. Robin: Chocolate! Sheila: Sushi, Chocolate, never together though. Ew. Having transformed from just guitar and cello, how would you say things have changed dynamically as well as musically? What inspired the change? Sheila: The cello will only get so loud, you know. I'd say, &quotPLAY REALLY LOUD!!!" but still, not so much. Robin: We are much more hard rock now. We wanted to achieve both the qualities of solid density and melodic fluff all at once. Also the cellist didn't work out. Jonah: Obviously I have to say the band really needed a bass player. Took it to 11, dynamically speaking. What are the top five artists on your ipods/record players/etc… at this moment in time? Jonah: The Acorn, Low Red Land, The Besnard Lakes, Once Soundtrack, Flight of the Conchords. Robin: Tracer AMC, Kinski, Dump, Renminbi, GBV. Sheila: Battles, The Twilight Sad, Deer Hoof, The Big Sleep, Grandaddy. How many jokes do you get about people absolutely luffing you guys? Robin: A fair amount. Enough that we should make &quotI LUFF LUFF" tees. Jonah: I'm actually surprised at the amount of fans that find out about us searching online for information about sailing. It's too bad we didn't have a show together for Fleet Week. They would have loved us. Sheila: Yes, what Jonah said.

the three new yorks.

i saw this on the subway, up high above the handrails, most likely next to a dr. zizmor ad.

There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something ….Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion.

this new york times city room blog discusses the piece today:

The idea of three New Yorks has prompted debates among New Yorkers, non-New Yorkers and people who wish they were New Yorkers.

Can anyone really claim to know New York, a city of eight million, City Room wonders? And just who is a New Yorker anyway? Commuters, settlers and natives? (Don’t forget the original natives.)

Incidentally, one passage in the “Here is New York” essay struck many for its prescience in the weeks after 9/11:

The city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible. A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers.

The E. B. White selection will be up for three months. The other selection, focused on science, is by Galileo.

Maybe there are three (or more) New Yorks — but sliced in a different way.

After all, a third of the city’s income is earned by the top 1 percent of its tax filers. For the state overall, every dollar earned by the top fifth of is matched by only 11.5 cents by the bottom fifth — the biggest gap in all the states. In Manhattan, the poor make 2 cents for $1 the rich make (on par with Namibia).

With the rising costs of housing, food, gas and the advent of a what some call the new gilded age, class — not place of origin — might be the true New York divide.

r.i.p.

it's time.

time magazine: delivering the important news...

the iphone's next frontier: porn.

i love grammar! (click to enlarge)

pictures.

here are some pictures i've taken with my phone recently.

from monday night's jeopardy. OOHH I KNOW CALL ON ME


from the cadman plaza post office.
that is a very unhappy and nervous broken machine.
looks like it's even a bit embarrassed.

is that how karma works?

after you... no, after you... subwayland tales

hi everybody! how was your weekend? mine was super, thanks for asking!

saturday:

i had sushi with my friends. we all had our bracelets on. here's a picture!

then we got stuck in the rain. it was a theme this weekend.

then kathryn took me to a dance performance at ps 122. it was kind of weird. looking at the poster, you might imagine that yes, it would be kind of weird. but it was fun anyways! and then i took her out to dinner at panna, which is a ridiculous indian restaurant on first avenue. their actual motto that is printed on the menu is "where chili pepper lights meet christmas lights." no really.

sunday:

we went to the beach! mmm, i love the first beach trip of the summer. we went to coney island. where we got stuck in the rain, again. we went to the aquarium instead. i was tired of walking so we got a wheelchair. after watching them feed the sharks we went outside and it was actually sunny! don't worry, i wore lots and lots of sunscreen and we were only out in the sun for a little bit.

and this whole story leads me to the book i was reading on the beach - subwayland: adventures in the world beneath new york by randy kennedy. click on that link to check out google books, it's super cool. and the book is amazing! it makes me conscious of all the crazy things that happen every day on the subway.

like this morning.

i transfer every day from the 4 express to the 6 local at 14th street-union square. it gets a little hectic sometimes.

i clamored onto the 6, not needing a seat because i only go one stop to 23rd street. a woman with a handful of bags edged towards a half seat next to a large man in a suit. he moved to the side but there still wasn't enough room. so then he got up, chivalrously offering his seat. but then she felt bad for making him get up. so she didn't sit down. but he was already up. so then they just stood there together chatting, talking about the nature of seat etiquette, all smiles.

with an empty bench beside them.

my friend adam.

some of you might know my friend adam. he's in malaysia right now.

his blog is right here: http://adamisinmalaysia.blogspot.com

he also made this amazing video.

ok what now?

i prefer crosswords to sudoku, but the story still bears repeating.

Sudoku addicts halt drugs trial

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian drugs trial lasting more than three months and costing taxpayers over A$1 million ($947,000) has been aborted after a number of jurors were found to have spent up to half the time playing Sudoku puzzles.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra cancelled the trial of two men on drugs conspiracy charges after the jury foreperson admitted that four to five jurors had been playing the addictive number sequence game, local media reported. The judge was alerted after some of the jurors were observed writing their notes vertically, rather than horizontally. The game involves completing a grid of numbers in the correct sequence.

One juror said the game helped them to pay more attention by keeping their mind busy.

"Some of the evidence is rather drawn out and I find it difficult to maintain my attention the whole time," the juror was quoted saying by the Australian Associated Press.

A new trial is expected to begin in a few weeks once a new jury has been called.

better than a mysophobic pig?

i can't think of anything better. i just can't bring myself to keep posting and force that adorable bootied pig further down the page. plus i'm busy.

a pig is afraid of mud.

Mud phobia pig gets its own boots

The piglet has been chosen as a mascot for a charity campaign A piglet scared of wallowing in mud has overcome its fears with the help of some Wellington boots. Six-week-old Cinders appears to suffer from mysophobia, a fear of dirt, after refusing to join her siblings as they splashed around in the mud. Owner Andrew Keeble from Thirsk, North Yorks, said his daughter Ellie, 12, suggested kitting her out in the tiny footwear which had been on a key ring. "Lo and behold they fitted her like a glove," Mr Keeble said. "She's scared of mud, but her brothers and sisters are quite happy in it. "We've never come across this before. They are born really to go and explore, but she never really liked going in the mud." No slaughter Mr Keeble and wife Debbie, both 42, run a sausage company and keep about 200 pigs on their 1,000-acre farm. But the father-of-four said there was no chance that Cinders would be slaughtered. "She's more of a pet really now and she's going to live a very long and happy life," he said. The young saddleback has been chosen by the couple as a mascot for their campaign to raise money for the Farm Crisis Network, which supports struggling farmers.

let's do some math!

this article explains that nearly 16,500 condoms were just delivered to a US research lab in antarctica so that they'd be stocked up for the winter.

that got me thinking.

there are 125 scientists and staff at the station, and supply deliveries will resume in september.

that means that a maximum of 62 couples will go through over 16,000 condoms by september.

let's do some math!

16,500 condoms

divided by

62 couples

equals

266 condoms per couple.

it's june 10th. let's say supply shipments resume on september 15th.

20 nights left in june, plus 61 nights in july and august, then another 15 for september.

that's 96 nights.

266 condoms for 96 nights.

THAT IS 2.7 CONDOMS PER COUPLE PER DAY. DAMN, GET DOWN, SCIENTISTS!!!!



on the other hand, what ELSE is there to do in the winter in antarctica???

i am rolling on the floor laughing.

thanks to annie for this one!

strawberries!

on my spacious patio, i have a bathtub full of strawberry plants. i put them in last year but only yielded three strawberries - one was eaten during a house party, one was found by animals and my housemate and i split the third one. so after months of work, i ate a total of one-half of one strawberry.

but after surviving the long new york winter, my babies have thrived through this long, luxurious spring. and now a bumper crop is on its way!

tonight when i get home, i am going to eat the first strawberry of the summer! it was almost ready yesterday afternoon. i am so excited! because of the heat and my healing, i have to turn down the very sweet offer of a ticket to death cab for cutie and rogue wave playing at mccarren pool park tonight.

but that strawberry will take the edge off a little bit.

holy crap!

my lord it is HOTTT! it's so hot it's hard to keep at this blogging thing.

i just want to point out that someone just found their way to my other blog by searching the terms "guys with groin tattoos."

in the internet biz, this is what we call MAKIN IT BABY! YEAH!

kids!

i love my job. but sometimes i miss working with kids. i taught preschool for a while. then i was a nanny, first for an 18 month old named moxie (really) and then for twin six year olds. now that i'm working full time, i don't have any kids in my life. and it's sort of sad.

luckily my girlfriend (her name is kathryn) teaches modern dance to eight year olds. check out the picture! now i want to teach modern dance to eight year olds!

the most phallic building in the world

is the name of an essay by jonathan ames. he is hilarious in a bitter way. he looks at himself in the mirror and says, goddamn it i am ugly and balding and i scratch my ass too much and there is my existence. it's sort of like if david sedaris actually had something to complain about instead of just bitching about all the terrible things that happen when you live in normandy and subsist on wine and cheese and kools. although i heard he just quit smoking.

back to the task at hand, so to speak.

mr. ames' essay is about the willamsburg savings bank in brooklyn, which he claims (half-heartedly) is the most phallic building in the world.

it's pretty phallic.

the essay spawned an online contest which you can peruse here. it turns out there are a lot of phallic buildings in the world.

and my god, look at the winner - a water tower in ypsilanti michigan. residents call it "the brick dick."

mustaches.

here's something for you to ponder. last night i went to arlene's grocery to see low red land, one of my favorite bands from california. they are AMAZING! crunchy rock with a soulful, americana/roots tradition at its core. be sure to check them out.

low red land's drummer has a fantastic mustache. and he got me thinking.

and then i stumbled upon this:

baseball's men of mustache.

my favorite:

10. Rod Beck

His eyes say no. His mustache says, "Sure, if you're cookin' ribs."

Lesson learned

Taking a cab into Manhattan at rush hour can get a little messy. But at least the view is nice!

got plans tonight?

now i do.

It must be shared.

On saturday night I sang smooth rock karaoke. It was my first night out since the surgery. I sang power of love by huey lewis. I held onto the mic stand with one hand and a crutch with the other. I ended up falling down. Oops.

We were just discussing the mediocrity of the song and its lyrics. My sister started singing.

"Power of love/
thick like cream..."

I don't think that's how it goes.

sequels!

i love sequels! read about all the glorious sequels in production. ah hollywood, what would we do without your sparkling originality? how would we survive?

30 Upcoming Movie Sequels You Didn't Know About

We've spent days of our lives scouring the world for news of sequels that you may not have heard of. And here are 30 films in various states of production...

Simon Brew

The domination of sequels in the big summer and winter schedules continues, and if the following - in particular order - is anything to go by, it's going to carry on for many years to come...

The Brazilian Job: the follow up to Paramount’s US remake of The Italian Job is still on the cards, and it’s got a 2009 release date marked. Jason Statham, Mos Def, Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron are attached, as is director F Gary Gray.

I, Robot 2: All we know on this one is that it’s in the scripting stages still, with a potential 2010 release date planned in. No news on Mr Smith's involvement.

I Am Legend 2: Warner’s huge Christmas 2007 hit could also have a follow up, although it’d be interesting to see if Will Smith returned to it. A 2010 release date is also being mooted for this one.

Beverly Hills Cop 4: If Die Hard can still do it at the box office, why can’t Axel Foley? Er, because the third BHC movie was crap, and a flop. Still, it’s not stopped development work going ahead on number four. No further news than that, though.

National Treasure 3: Not a huge surprise, but as the Nic Cage Indiana Jones knock off franchise has proved to be quite a juggernaut, you’ll only have to wait until 2011 for the third film in the series.

Cars 2: We spotted this on AintItCool – is Pixar really looking to make a sequel to its weakest film? Apparently so…

Toy Story 3: This one, after lots of umming and ahhing, appears to be a goer. It won’t, as was speculated, be a straight-to-DVD affair, and Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are both expected back on voicing duties. It’ll be out in 2010.

Jeepers Creepers 3: MGM is running the rule over a potential third instalment in the horror franchise, with director Victor Salva still attached. Hmmm.

Shrek 5: The fourth film was a no-brainer after the tepid third outing made so much cash. But a fifth instalment has also been confirmed. No wonder Shrek is the same colour as an American dollar…

Night at the Museum 2: Ben Stiller is returning for his most commercially successful role outside of the Meet the Parents franchise. We can wait. No news on the proposed Meet The Little Focker, though.

Crank 2: High Voltage: This is more like it. Crank is a guilty pleasure right up there with Snakes on a Plane, and it’s coming back for more. Shooting starts next month, for a 2009 release, and Jason Statham returns as Chev Chelios. As he should.

Transporter 3: Statham again. He’s making this too, and it’s in pre-production. Presumably, he’ll go from Crank 2 straight onto this.

Super Troopers 2: A sequel nobody asked for! Hurray! Expect it in 2010, as it’s in the early writing stages still, we believe.

Silent Hill 2: Sony is looking at a follow up to the crap-but-popular video game adaptation. 2010 is the current slated release date.

The Descent 2: We understand that Neil Marshall won’t be directed this one, which has the, er, working title of The De2cent. He’s attached as Executive Producer, with Jon Harris stepping behind the camera (he edited the first film, as well as the more recent Stardust).

The Grudge 3: Yup, it’s in pre-production now, for release next year. That’ll likely be the scariest thing about it.

Ice Age 3: 1st July 2009. That’s the date you’ll need to avoid if you want to miss the next Ice Age movie. Hopefully it’ll be better than the second one…

Ghost Rider 2: A surprise hit last year, Marvel is developing a follow-up to the Nic Cage comic book flick, and tentatively has 2009 marked for release. No director is thus far attached.

The Untouchables: Capone Rising: A prequel to Brian De Palma’s cracking prohibition thriller of, er, twenty years ago. De Palma is back behind the camera, and the project is in the pre-production stages now.

The Thomas Crown Affair 2: Weird, this. It’s taken them ages to do a sequel, and then they draft in Paul Verhoeven to direct a follow-up to someone else’s film. Pierce Brosnan returns, and filming starts shortly.

The People Under The Stairs 2: No sign of any Wes Craven involvement, though, and release may even be this year. Hmmm. We'd wager DVD will be its home.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Er, that’s what they’ve called The Mummy 3, which is out on 1st August. Brendan Fraser and Jet Li star.

Punisher: War Zone: Ray Stevenson becomes the third person to play The Punisher on screen. You’ll be able to find out how he did on 12th September this year.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder: Casper Van Diem is back, but it’s still going straight to DVD, as the piss-awful second film did. It’s due out later this year.

Pink Panther 2: Oh dear. And I’m a Steve Martin fan. It’s out on 13th February 2009.

Ace Ventura 3: No Jim Carrey though, and no chance of it seeing the inside of a cinema. Head to Blockbuster later in the year if you want to catch it.

War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave: Another straight to DVD sequel, but this one’s of note because it’s directed by Soul Man/Hitcher star C Thomas Howell. Blimey.

Jurassic Park 4: It’s taken them ages to sort this out, but the latest is that Laura Dern is still attached, and that it’ll be released in 2009. Don’t hold your breath though, as shooting would need to start really very soon...

Scary Movie 5/Saw 5: You could have guessed at these if you didn’t know about them already. Both should see the light before the end of the year. Sadly.