1. because the office is too hot when it's cold outside, and i'm sure it'll be too cold when it's hot.
2. because i used to have a great computer, and then my co-worker lost his other job and took my workstation, and now i work on a pc running windows 2000 and i want to blow it up.
3. because the office manager's office, which houses my beloved postage machine, has had a do not disturb sign on it for the past two hours. the sign is in arabic. i think she's a terrorist.