30 April 2008


hey readers - an update for you. not exactly the funniest post ever, so if you need something funny, watch this.

i'm just back from the hospital. here's the latest:

after the oncologist took one look at my walnut-sized lymph node, she said the biopsy was more or less a formality and that we should prepare for surgery. after some blood tests i went down and got my PET scan scheduled for tomorrow. i should have a full pathology report by tomorrow afternoon or friday and then we'll know a lot more about what's real and how far (if at all) beyond the lymph node the cancer has spread.

in the meantime, my surgery is scheduled for friday the 9th of may - which coincidentally is also when my dad comes into town. it'll be SO nice to have him here, especially since they say i'll have drainage problems in my leg after the surgery so i can't leave the hospital for at least a couple of days. that sounds like an awesome weekend! also, once i escape NYU i'll be on crutches for a couple weeks. i am SO not looking forward to commuting on crutches.

i should know a lot more after the scan and report tomorrow. thanks to everyone who has texted or emailed or called or just psychically sent their love. i'll keep y'all posted.

29 April 2008

best boss ever.

my boss just bought me a copy of t.c. boyle's water music!

for those who missed it, the same book was knocked out of my hands and down onto the subway tracks. i was really missing it and my commute was suddenly endless without a good book.

but now it's back!

best boss ever.


why we desperately need wikipedia in our lives every day...

Tuesday is the day of the week between Monday and Wednesday.

...In business, particularly office work, studies have shown that Tuesday is usually the most productive day of the week. Some of these people consider Tuesday to be their least favorite day, because they are not as relaxed as Monday (due to the weekend preceding it), yet they still have most of the work week ahead of them.

28 April 2008


what a crazy busy day! so much to do! the day is just flying by! i was stressed that our new office phones would be a total disaster, but it seems like everything is going ok. for now i'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

also, i have a biopsy scheduled for wednesday. hopefully that will go as well as our new phone system!


well, my anti-rain dance totally worked and we had an awesome barbeque! incredible food and great people. i think i'm going to do that monthly. why not?

after the party wound down i went out for a nightcap. the rain was starting to fall just as i got home. i walked up the stairs and discovered that the last person to leave had closed and locked the door at the top of the stairs, which is proper apartment party etiquette but WE DON'T HAVE A KEY FOR THAT DOOR. i seriously almost cried. i did not feel like sleeping on my stairs.


it was so bad-ass. i'm not much of a bad-ass so i have to fully embrace it every chance i get! if you ever have a chance to kick down a door, it's awesome. just aim next to the door handle. i got through on the first kick! the door is fine but i did manage to crack the frame in half. ha ha! good thing we don't have a lease!

i hope you all have an awesome, bad-ass door-kicking monday. my day is great so far - especially the part where the subway doors closed on me and knocked my book out of my hands and DOWN THROUGH THE GAP ONTO THE TRACKS. and just as the hero-explorer returned home to his long-suffering penelope!

does anyone have a copy of t.c. boyle's water music?

25 April 2008

kings of kings county

big update! who are the kings of kings county?

me! i am! and my friend bk11201.

do you read the brooklyn daily eagle? well if you do then you would see THIS ARTICLE TODAY THAT MENTIONS MY BLOG BY NAME!

Historically Speaking: Researching Brooklyn — Online

2nd to last paragraph:

Adventures in Brooklyn and BK 11201 recount personal tales with pictures. Brooklyn Enthusiast deals with food and recipes as does Bread, Coffee, Chocolate, Yoga and All in Brooklyn. Frisket of Hicks Street recently became Frisket of Main Street: it’s about this dog. Two others have Brooklyn Bridge pix: Never Sleepist and Sam I Am.


don't post before coffee

ok this day is actually turning out alright.

this makes me feel better.


this day is going to be awesome.

follow these steps to have an awesome day:

step one: wake up at six am groggy with a slight hangover. don't go back to sleep!

step two: murderous cops acquitted for shooting a man 50 times the night before his wedding.

step three: discover that dhl lost your present for a departing co-worker on her last day.

step four: find out that rain is more than likely for your big weekend barbeque.

step five: call from doctor reveals positive test for melanoma.

step six: oooh, what's next? how much more awesome can this day get?

i think i'll move to australia.

24 April 2008


dang, another busy day. i was hoping to spend all day posting.

ah, work. if you didn't pay my bills, i would totally break up with you.

my favorite day

today i switched to iced coffee!!! that's my favorite day.

yes, i know i'm a bit behind.

my god it's beautiful today. madison square park has never looked better. except that there are no silver trees, which is still a little sad to me.

so as you know, i cleaned my patio on tuesday night. last night it was time for spring cleaning of my room. is there anything as satisfying? (yes. iced coffee.) i even found a way to display my ever-expanding collection of bar coasters.

my housemate asked me, where did you get all of these?


23 April 2008

the day for us

as some of my blog cohorts have recently pointed out, today is administrative professionals day. i saw that tempy was feeling neglected and i decided to let my co-workers know that it was a day to celebrate, um, me. i jokingly let them know that the day was running out and if they had any surprise plans for me that it was probably time to give me the flowers, chocolate and bottles of single malt scotch they were hiding under their desks.

and you know what? they actually produced a card signed by my boss - who has been in nashville since yesterday morning! it's a snoopy card and it has that lovable, incomprehensible yellow bird woodstock answering the phones and fixing the computers and finding lost files and it says (folding out)

You have a way...
Of saving the day...

i am a little teary-eyed.

to my co-workers, i say

| | | |
| | |
| | |

y'know, like how woodstock speaks in lines?

you know what i like?

getting our new phones and internet working. i am the best office administrator ever.

last night

instead of going to an awesome show like my blogging friends one and two i decided to clean my patio. and it looks great, thanks for asking.

22 April 2008


so... do i need to be in a costume to use your bathroom? i'm confused.

visiting the doctor

so my health benefits kicked in this month. it's been five years since i had insurance. and just about as long since i was at the doctor.

this morning i went to the doctor.

you know what?

i hate going to the doctor. they strip you down to your underwear, they poke and prod and question. so little personal connection.

now, i did have a reason to go. that lymph node continues to grow. and the mole on my left thigh was of epic proportions before its mostly painless removal this morning. i love that my leg was cauterized this morning.

i wasn't too worried about it until my new doctor sent me immediately to a dermatologist who saw me as soon as i got there and put a rush order on my newly-liberated mole and considering a potential biopsy next week.

yay for cancer scares!

see? i never should have gone to the doctor.

21 April 2008

dear jewish co-worker,

thank you for passover leftovers.

the brisket was delicious.

as were the coconut macaroons.

i wish every day were passover.

yogurt castle mystery

welcome to the yogurt castle in downtown walnut creek, california. i was there last weekend. mmmm, vanilla fro-yo with gummi bears... the taste of childhood.

walking back to the car. giggling with my sisters. creating a new theme song for yogurt castle: "take me away to land of magic... and yogurt."

then i noticed this on their back door:


we can interpret this in a number of ways.

t's possible that a pirate lives behind the door. as in, "ARRRRRR! STOP SPITTING IN ME FOOD!"

or perhaps it's a message from the door. "STOP SPITTING IN ME." and then the door is named food. or it's aimed at someone named food. i like this one and imagine it being delivered in the same tone that billy madison says "STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN!"

i suppose it's possible that yogurt castle customers, disillusioned by low yogurt-based standards, started spitting inside the castle's back door to express their displeasure. and the staff wanted to warn them that was food inside the door and that people should stop spitting.

it's the personification of the door that is most puzzling. it's not "STOP SPITTING IN HERE." it's "IN ME." like the door is personally offended.

this appears to be a mystery that will forever remain unsolved.

it was me. i'm sorry.

who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m - 27 (crown heights)

Reply to: pers-649331801@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-20, 12:56PM EDT

a) how did you get into my mailbox in the first place, it is locked
b) did you kill the bird
c) it died horribly, that much was clear
d) you're psycho
e) do I know you
f) if I do know you I don't want to know you
g) if I don't know you, what did I do to inspire you to put a dead bird in my mailbox
h) I don't know how to disinfect a mailbox from a dead bird, I'm worried about diseases and have used five different kinds of cleaner but still feel like the bird's still in there still and like my bills and my catalogues and my coupons have dead bird on them
i) it was a hummingbird, I looked it up - they don't even live in New York - this is so f*ing psycho, I can't believe this
j) are you the mailman?
k) I'm always nice to the mailman
l) the super didn't care when I told him what happened
m) the neighbors didn't care either
n) do you have some kind of problem with birds
o) don't put anything else in my mailbox
p) unless it's an apology
q) no, I take that back, I don't even want an apology
r) what am I supposed to do with this bird - it's in bubblewrap in a bag in a shoebox in the freezer right now - am I supposed to bury it - where? how? in a construction site where they've jackhammered through the concrete - where is a person supposed to bury things in this city?
s) I could drop it in the Gowanus canal, but that seems undignified
t) I could drop it in the ocean, but the ocean is so big and it is such a small bird
u) I could drop it in the toilet but it would probably get stuck
v) I hear this whirring around my ears every time I go to the mailbox and I'm pretty sure it's ghost bird, and I'm all "it wasn't me that killed you, bird!" but still the whirring doesn't go away until I get to the stairwell
w) am I supposed to eat it - maybe you were trying to feed me - don't you know I'm a vegetarian
x) if this was Ricky, I'm gonna beat your ass, mama told you stop bothering the zoo
y) if this was Gina, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, how many times I gotta say I'm sorry
z) I could drop it off the roof, maybe it will reincarnate while falling and I can start reading my mail again

18 April 2008

your new boyfriend



use with caution

i just answered a question from a friend and her response to my answer was "snizzle."

do you know what that means? i didn't. so i looked it up. not sure that i should have.

warning! this is dirty.

from urbandictionary.com

snizzle :

A clean shaven, tight and ripe young vagina. When bent over the snizzle replicates the look of a freshly sliced Freestone peach.

Snizzle ceases to exist around the age of 25 years old, often younger. At which point becomes a Frazzle.

somehow i don't think that's what my friend meant.

but now we all know. and knowing is half the battle. GI JOE!

17 April 2008

i miss you

hello blog. i miss you! i wish i wasn't so busy. also i wish i could get our new office t1 working. damn you slow internet!

16 April 2008

no no no no no no no.

i've never liked microsoft. but this is just totally unacceptable.

want to?

so busy!

i hate it when my job prevents me from posting all day. boooo!

i hope you guys are doing well. let's hang out after i've slept like a hundred hours in a row.

15 April 2008

so very, very tired

my advice: don't EVER fly a cross country red eye and go straight to work. it's not fun. i am so tired i can barely function. which would be awesome if i could just relax at home. no such luck!

california was pretty rad. i hiked through the redwoods. i ate mexican food. i watched charlie rose with my grandparents. i took naps with my grandparents. i said goodbye to my grandparents, potentially for the last time, which was really not so rad. in fact it was pretty sad. but if my spine was slowly disintegrating for the last 20 years, i think i might be ready to go too.

i'm too tired and sad for more. maybe tomorrow after some non-airplane-based sleep.

14 April 2008

wide open spaces

inside the gated walls of my grandparents' retirement village, the roads are double-wide to accommodate swerving. awesome.

10 April 2008

proving the existence of god

5-Day Forecast for ZIP Code 94710
Berkeley, CA

Friday Saturday Sunday Monday
76° F | 50° F
24° C | 10° C
77° F | 49° F
25° C | 9° C
72° F | 49° F
22° C | 9° C
59° F | 49° F
15° C | 9° C
Clear Clear Clear Clear


i'm leaving for california tomorrow morning and things have been crazy here! it definitely didn't help that i lost all the work i did yesterday afternoon. i was working on a photoshop piece and took out all the layers that separate all the objects (logos, text boxes etc) to turn it into a pdf and i could have sworn i didn't save it that way. but i did. so i had to do it all over again from scratch. boooo for making mistakes.

working under the gun to prepare press packets for a meeting is difficult with this unbelievably slow inkjet printer i have.

my big accomplishment today: a friend of mine works for 20 minutos, a spanish daily in the a.m./metro vein. for those of you who speak spanish, here's his blog: http://blogs.20minutos.es/entradagratuita/

he's working on a story about the olympic torch protests in san francisco and was trying to get in touch with someone involved. i still have a strand or two of connection to my days as an erstwhile political activist in the bay, and they are still just strong enough. thanks to a friend, i was able to track down the email of one of the climbers from the golden gate banner hang.

and there is my contribution to international journalism for the day.

[pats self on back]

are you married to the sea?

09 April 2008

hoooo boy!

my friend * is providing me with all my material today. good thing, since i'm busy! check out the video she sent me. thanks *! you're a true friend, even if you slapped me once.


is not only a play by ibsen. i've had enough ghostly experiences in my life to have developed my own theories about their existence. i once spent a night in my friend's haunted michigan lake house - years later during renovations it turned out the bed i slept in was immediately above an unmarked grave...

but i've never gotten postcards from the dead. check out this email from a friend:

I am NOT open-minded about talking to the dead, but I have gotten two actual communications from Matt posthumously. One was a postcard that didn't arrive until after he died that he sent from Boston and it had a picture of a sheep dressed as a prostitute on it, and all matt had written was "enough said." I wonder what he was exactly thinking....but the thought of the slutty sheep is always something that makes me chuckle.

The other was a voicemail that somehow didn't show up on my phone until after he died. And it is a message of him singing (which may not come across in email) "I am hungry and I want some dinner." I think it is the perfect message from him because it is such a typical example of how something that was so mundane, with Matt became exciting, fun, and interesting.

yay mets! boo mets bullpen.

i took yesterday off for the final opening day ever at shea stadium. they've made incredible progress on the absolutely gorgeous new park next door - can't wait for 2009. think the mets will have hired a bullpen that can get first pitch strikes and not walk number nine hitters? cause that would be really nice.


07 April 2008

the importance of internet video

so the company that takes care of our office internet came in to do some repairs a couple weeks ago and discovered that they had accidentally given us unlimited bandwidth. so they scaled back our internet speed to the lowest level.

and our lives changed forever. or until the t1 line is installed.

now a 2 minute video clip takes 10 minutes to load. 10 minutes! what am i supposed to do with that time? actual work? who do these people think i am?

so people, if you have funny videos of babies laughing or people singing strange songs about chocolate rain, save them for late april when our internet is upgraded.


oh well, whatever, never mind.

i was worried about diddy. it looked like he had tried to kill 2pac. but it's all lies!

The Times retracts Tupac Shakur story

busy monday!

ok i am busy today. no messin around. minimal posting. one thought though:

how freaking ridiculously beautiful was it on saturday? i walked all over brooklyn and manhattan with my dad, from the heights to the empire ferry, from koreatown to the west village and all points in between. my god, this city can sparkle.


this grayness and 40 degree temperatures is so not ok. good thing i'm going to california on friday morning!

ok now i have to write things about zootopia. the lineup won't be released until tonight, but i know you'll all be knocking down my door to get tickets!

04 April 2008

my brain on friday

if only...

red tail hawks are awesome

i've always been a big fan of the red tail hawk. they're ubiquitous out west, and i've wanted to get one tattooed on me for a long time.

but now, i've got to say, my respect for them is on a whole new level...

An omen? Hawk attacks girl with a familiar-sounding name at Fenway

(John Tlumacki/Globe Staff)

By Andrew Ryan, Globe Staff

A certain New York Yankee slugger should beware: A student taking a tour of Fenway Park today was attacked by a red-tailed hawk that swooped off its nest, drawing blood from the girl’s scalp.

Her name: Alexa Rodriguez. Her age: 13, the same jersey number the Yankee third baseman wears.

“She’s fine, a little shaken, but OK,” said Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned Rodriguez's class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn.

The eighth-grader was taken by ambulance to a local hospital and treated for the small scratch on her scalp.

The 3 1/2-pound hawk has been building nests at Fenway since 2002, but has always been chased out before opening day so she and her mate could find a new home, said Tom French, assistant director of MassWildlife.

This spring the raptor used a brown-knit cap and twigs from trees on Yawkey Way to build a nest on a green overhang near the press booth above home plate. She laid a brown-speckled egg last week, but it rolled off the nest, wasn’t properly incubated, and was no longer viable, French said.

Wildlife officials removed the egg and the nest after the hawk's attack, which was captured by veteran Globe photographer John Tlumacki.

Could it be an omen for Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who once got in a glove-in-the-face scuffle with Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek at Fenway in 2004?

“I deal in science, not mythology,” French said, refusing to make any baseball predictions based on the feisty hawk. “Although you could say she has done a good job protecting her home plate.”


it's raining.

03 April 2008

the band

ok my band is playing at southpaw tomorrow night and it will be fun.

i think i look silly in this picture. agreed?

life tracking by feltron

this is seriously amazing you guys.

this guy tracks his life minutae to an incomprehensible level.

he's just published his annual report.

wow. this is mind-blowing.


i'm amazed that tempy hasn't put this up yet. i'm happy to share with you all a wonderful site:

http://www.catsinsinks.com/ - "for all your cat and bathroom needs"

my pants are at risk

i forgot to wear a belt today! i hope my pants don't fall down.

02 April 2008


in case you can't tell, it's a slow day at work. post number seven!

who are the people in this picture? and why are they having a reunion? is this an april fools joke?

talk about 420 friendly!!!!

have you read the touching eulogy for magnetic field in the village voice? it's awesome. read it!

while reading the article, an ad for this site popped up.

"Welcome to Potpartner.com, we know how hard it is for people that smoke marijuana to be accepted by people who do not. You meet a new person, but bringing up that you like to smoke is often a deal break with someone that does not smoke. So here we are Potpartner.com is a place for people to find others that enjoy smoking marijuana or are tolerant to it. Potpartner.com is not a place to come score marijuana, this is a dating site pure and simple, and for people who like to smoke marijuana. We hope you enjoy our site."

ooooh! a bag!

what's in the bag?

more magical instant messaging

from my buddy living on a farm in texas.

skiznap the misadventures of 18:01
so, a raccoon came up to the front door yesterday afternoon, which is weird because they usually dont come out during the day. he then casually walked into the shed. we thought he might of had rabies, so i go the gun out. he was hiding under a sheet of metal, but i could see his eyes. i shot him right between the eyes. when we went to get him later i saw that the bullet had went through his eye and came out his ass. wow

the best karaoke performance ever

i know we've had some seriously good karaoke times together.

but can anything beat this? not even abigail singing all right now.

what is this thing?

as i laid my head on my pillow last night, there was something wrong. it was quiet. TOO quiet. no dull thump of punk rock bass vibrating under me. no drunken screams. no brawling.

what is this thing called sleep? did i really just get seven completely uninterrupted hours? i honestly can't remember the last time i managed that.

last night after work i walked to union square and it was warm and beautiful and a metalhead totally smashed himself up on his skateboard and couples kissed and all was right with the world. and then i did yoga at jivamukti and ate my favorite salad ever at the gray dog cafe and then i called my grandparents and told them i loved them and then i went to sleep.

it was weird.

saturday survey

my pops is coming into town this weekend. i thought that i would see him for like two minutes, y'know, give him a high five, tell him everything's ok now that the bar has closed and i'm no longer an alcoholic.*

but now it turns out that we'll have a saturday night to go out on the town. and i'm looking for some help!

what should i do? so far things that appeal to me are patrick stewart's macbeth, paul simon at BAM or the ukulele festival in the LES. but i'm open to anything cool that's not too late, expensive or loud.


*not necessarily true

01 April 2008

is this real?

ok i know it's april fools day and that the press likes to make up stories.

what do you think -- is this real?

Undersea ironing record draws press

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A group of 72 Australian scuba divers has flattened the world record for ironing under water, taking the plunge off a pier near the southern city of Melbourne with ironing boards and irons, and their linen.

So-called "extreme ironing" has spawned a cult following in recent years. The Web site extremeironing.com espouses it as being the "latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt."

The Australian group, who pipped the previous mark of 70, are seeking entry to the Guinness book of world records after taking their linen into murky, 3-metre-deep (9.8 foot) ocean on Saturday.

"It was cold and I think they were bloody crazy," local councilor Tom O'Connor, who with police helped authenticate the new record, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Event organizer Debbie Azzopardi said the group eclipsed a 2005 record set in a swimming pool at nearby Geelong, which in turn beat a world mark set in New Zealand.

The irons all had their electrical cords removed for the attempt, which took place in chilly pre-winter seas.

"I was having a chardonnay (wine) a few years ago with a girlfriend and I thought I'm going to beat that. We had a few fish going by and a sting ray. It was great," Azzopardi said.

wait, for reals? extremeironing.com. wow.

a handy tool

so google pretty much runs my life. my email. my blog. my source for maps. shopping. information. calendar. pictures. etc etc etc.

check out their newest development...

yay for internet! boo for bars closing.

it feels a little strange to actually be at work right now. i was only 45 minutes late! and then discovered that the internet for the entire building was down. awesome.

so yeah, you all know that fun died last night. magnetic field has officially closed its doors. i don't think i could put it any better than this.

it was an incredible experience, looking around last night and seeing endless faces of people i have come to care for so deeply, people that care for each other (even if "caring" sometimes means "let's drink all night"). what an amazing family that was, is, and will continue to be, in some form or another.

i am feeling awesome today. april = detox!