surgery

my god it's a busy day.

latest update: i'm heading in for surgery at 6:30 tomorrow morning. i should be out by 9:30.

dang that's early.

on the subway

check out the guy with the painting.
it's of himself!
wearing the same yellow hat!

the light spring rain

i thoroughly enjoyed my early morning walk to work today, being that 1) it will be my last without crutches for a while and 2) i could stroll proudly with the white pin on my label exclaiming that yes, i was indeed GROINSTRONG. thanks tempy! now if we could just get bracelets and t-shirts that say the same...

i miss the silver trees in madison square park.

yeah, i guess this is ok. but those trees were AWESOME.

best boss ever, part two

by the end of next week, i will be very close to running out of sick days for the year. my boss and i have been trying to figure out how to make this work - with a potentially messy recovery, follow-up appointments and treatment options that could put me under, i may need a whole lot more of them too.

by the way, possible treatments at present do NOT include radiation or chemotherapy. my doctor (bio here, in case you're curious) has said that interferon and use of a melanoma vaccine are more likely as initial post-surgical options.

i haven't worked here long enough to get disability. and it would suck to use my vacation days when i'm stuck in my bed with a hip-to-ankle leg brace or dealing with the flu-like symptoms that are a common adverse effect of interferon injections.

so today my boss started investigating transferring her sick days to me! and it looks like it's actually going to work. man, they take good care of me here.

my to-do list is growing faster than i check things off and i feel like my head is going to explode. also feeling explodey is my lymph node which feels like it has grown faster and firmer and bigger in the past two weeks. you guys, it's gross.

but it's a sunny day and i have the best boss ever.

guess what?

it's ok to make cancer jokes.

i just read this article:

Does cancer have a sense of humor?

it turns out cancer is hilarious!

cancer? i don't even know her!

HA HA! i kill me.

i'm trying.

other blog

by the way, in case i don't have a chance to blog much in the coming weeks, check this out - a friend of a friend is planning to ride a horse from eastern montana and over into oregon, and she's doing it old school, with bows and arrows and buckskin. rockin.

http://communequest.blogspot.com/

get in the zone of positivity, not negativity

is there a place in our bodies where we store positivity? because my tank is running low. i wonder if the lymph system helps with positive thinking. i've been able to stay strong thus far but i'm running out of steam. things at work are hectic to say the least, since i'm trying to put together a guide to the little things i do around here, like all the web coding, graphic design, phone/internet maintenance and supply orders. y'know, the little things. it's going to be tough to let things go. it looks like i'll be off work for a week at least.

anyways, i'm busy and not feeling great but that's life.

most helpful appointment ever.

thanks nyu, for that utter waste of two hours today. it's cool, it's not like things are busy at work or anything. it's not like i'm leaving thursday and am not sure when i'm coming back to work. two hours to spare? sure. oh, you know what else would be awesome? how about not having answers to any of my questions (except if there is internet at the hospital: no there's not)? that's cool. also, i have to take out my nipple ring pre-surgery. which i've already had to repierce once, and they sort of messed it up, so i think this will be the end of that too. i'm going through some major changes huh?

so here's the update after meeting with my aenesthesiologist and surgical nurse:

i don't know when my surgery will be, except that it's on friday.
i don't know where in the hospital i'll be, so i can't tell you about visiting hours.
hospitals are depressing. this weekend is going to be rough.

ok, back to work and wallowing!

oh please

as you may have noticed in the fake AP article i wrote letting my softball team know that i was headed to the disabled list, my softball team (which plays around .500) has never won a game in which i have played. the exception was a single forfeit, and that doesn't count.

that ends today.

before i am laid up for a while, i am ready for a win. i just checked the standings and the team we are playing today is 0-2, with 5 runs for and 53 against. i don't want to jinx the team and we've been known to lose to some seriously bad teams from time to time. but i feel really good about this one.

i want a total blowout.

dear cancer,

i made you a postcard! no, it's actually from lots of things like this. but it's pretty right on.

one last weekend on two legs (for now)

what a weekend! i never knew how awesome it was to have two working legs until i started thinking about not being able to use one for a while. just walking around the city brought me such joy. luckily i am not like that poor horse eight belles. that was so sad! please don't euthanize me just because my leg is injured.

saturday! in the morning i went with my friend lynne to the dave eggers-curated exhibit at the apex art center in tribeca. i couldn't have asked for a nicer art experience. intriguing, moving and laugh-out-loud funny. it's on til may 10th people! and it's free! take advantage of those legs!

and of course in the afternoon was the kentucky derby. what a wonderful way to spend a day. mint juleps, pretty hats and pretty horses. so glad i finally made one of those crazy parties. also, i didn't realize how much i missed live band karaoke. i won runner-up for my performance of pat benatar's hit me with your best shot, which i almost dedicated to my cancer but thought better of it. so now i have a trophy that says MOST INSPIRING KARAOKE. i know the judges were swayed by the whole cancer thing. but i'll take it!

after dinner with my bandmates i returned to to union hall for a mind-blowing show by my new favorite band the acorn. this album has been a balm since my diagnosis - i can't recommend it enough. they're at piano's tonight and mercury lounge tomorrow. seriously, go see them. after the show i told them how important their music has been to me and what was going on and we had a good cry together.

sunday i learned an important lesson. DO NOT RIDE ACROSS THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE DURING THE FIVE BOROUGHS BIKE RIDE. my god that was awful. still, i spent most of sunday biking through this beautiful brooklyn home, feeling like if i pedaled hard enough through the warm spring sunshine and trees that i might actually escape my impending month or two of pain and frustration.

anyways, i've got to get to work. it's going to be a hectic week getting everything ready to be away from work for a while.

in closing:

week. end. !!

well, no final pathology report to end the week. but things are still looking up! i'm going to relax as much as i possibly can over the weekend. thanks to everyone for all the love and support.

in other news...

tomorrow is the kentucky derby and i am thrilled to be a part of what sounds like a fantastic neighborhood tradition. i'm sorry i never got to experience it at magnetic field, but union hall has become a second home by now. and there will be live band karaoke. which, as one can see from my pictures, is one of my favorite things on god's green earth.

and to add to it, a new favorite band is playing later that evening. i've been listening non-stop to glory hope mountain by the ottowa-based band the acorn. for those of who attending the derby party, i'm planning on leaving after karaoke to get some dinner and then coming back for the show.

with the surgery coming up, i'm planning on moderating through the evening.

and by moderating, i mean going absolutely bat shit crazy, since this will be my last hurrah for quite a while.

watch out mint juleps! i am going to drink you so hard.

GROINSTRONG

i believe this will be the new cancer-related merchandising craze. first came lance with LIVESTRONG and those yellow bracelets and then stephen colbert's red WRISTSTRONG. but now we have a new slogan: GROINSTRONG.

it sounds like there's a whole fashion line being developed right now. keep an eye out for our full range of GROINSTRONG bracelets, trucker caps and of course, GROINSTRONG intimates.

i'm tired.

jesus this has been a long couple of weeks! yesterday was the longest day i've had in a long time. getting up at 5 am to get an injection of radioactive sugar is not a very good way to start your day.

but last night i got my first chance to release and take a few solid deep breaths after 1) the scan looked clean and 2) my insurance said they'll cover all costs incurred. really a huge relief. so i spent the evening playing sad beautiful songs and trying to make it through without crying and then had dinner with a friend and watched harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay, a.k.a. jonah and his thoughts escape from the weight of the last two weeks.

my entire office is on vacation today. which is kind of weird but now there's no one to stop me from having a super-productive day.

a.k.a blogging endlessly.

good news

my internet at home is down so i'm calling this one in. just got a call from my doc and the preliminary readings from the scan show only localized growth. meaning the surgery has a good chance of getting rid of everything.

so now would be time for a sigh of relief, and maybe a glass of that macallan i've been saving.

the waiting is the hardest part.

i will have my full scan results tomorrow afternoon. at least i know when it's going to be. one more night of trying not to pull my hair out! check back tomorrow.

um...

Legless Lizard Among Newly Found Species

isn't that just a snake?

i heart lesbians.

a break from all that depressing news to bring you an important story:

Lesbos islanders dispute gay name

By Malcolm Brabant BBC News, Athens

The term lesbian is now widely used to describe homosexual women

Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court in an attempt to stop a gay rights organisation from using the term "lesbian".

The islanders say that if they are successful they may then start to fight the word lesbian internationally.

The issue boils down to who has the right to call themselves Lesbians.

Is it gay women, or the 100,000 people living on Greece's third biggest island - plus another 250,000 expatriates who originate from Lesbos?

The man spearheading the case, publisher Dimitris Lambrou, claims that international dominance of the word in its sexual context violates the human rights of the islanders, and disgraces them around the world.

He says it causes daily problems to the social life of Lesbos's inhabitants.

Injunction sought

In court papers, the plaintiffs allege that the Greek government is so embarrassed by the term Lesbian that it has been forced to rename the island after its capital, Mytilini.

An early court date has now been set for judges to decide whether to grant an injunction against the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece and to order it to change its name.

A spokeswoman for the group has described the case as a groundless violation of freedom of expression, and has pledged to fight it.

The term lesbian originated from the poet Sappho, who was a native of Lesbos.

Sappho expressed her love of other women in poetry written during the 7th Century BC.

But according to Mr Lambrou, new historical research has discovered that Sappho had a family, and committed suicide for the love of a man.

take a breath.

when i first spoke to the wonderful folks at blue cross/blue shield, they explained that because the cancer was present before my benefits kicked in, there was a chance they would try and prove that this was a pre-existing condition. i've pushed that to the back of my mind, because i can't really deal with thinking about the possibility of being oh, let's say potentially $200K in the hole. just getting through these days is taking enough out of me. nonetheless, it's been a shimmer of worry on the horizon and i had already strategized around which lawyer i was going to call if they said they wouldn't cover all this.

but those same lovely folks just called and told me that other than my in-patient co-pay, they'll cover 100% of all costs. whew! and here's something funny - i'll get my "economic stimulus" check this week, so that will take care of the co-pay. so much for buying a new guitar. oh well.

PATIENCE IS A GODDAMN VIRTUE

PLEASE TELL ME MY TEST RESULTS THANK YOU

how to let people know you have cancer.

this is one way. this is my announcement to my much-beloved softball team.

Magnetic Field Softball Suffers Another Injury Setback (AP)

BROOKLYN, NY - Already working through a nomadic season without a home bar, the injury-plagued Magnetic Field softball team took another hit this afternoon when they placed long-time benchwarmer Jonah Eller-Isaacs on the 30-day DL due to an upcoming surgery.

Coach William "Snackbar" Crane explained, "Jesus, we finally get some momentum and now our players are dropping like so many pop flies in the outfield. What is this, the 2007 Oakland Athletics?"

Eller-Isaacs joins fellow MFers Matt "Sexier Than Young Paul Newman" Caplicki (ribs) and Mitchell "Don't Talk Shit About Chicago or I Will Kick Your Freakin' Ass" Bisschop (hand) on the disabled list. Caplicki injured himself during a week-long binge that ended with an ill-timed swan dive into the East River, and Bisschop recently got his hand stuck in a bottle of vodka, making it swell up, like, really big and gross.

Assistant Coach Jack "Skippy Dippy" McFadden asked reporters, "Does Jonah even play on our team? I only seem to remember losing when he was around."

Asked to comment on the two-year-long losing streak that the team has suffered when Eller-Isaacs takes the field, Mr. Eller-Isaacs replied with a long sigh, saying, "At least I throw good parties."

Eller-Isaacs heads into surgery Friday May 9th at the NYU Cancer Center and will be in the hospital through the weekend.

cancer loves sugar

all done with the PET/CT scan. it's kind of crazy what they do - they inject you with radiation-laced sugar and then scan to see where the sugar goes. the cancer cells love the sugar so the sugar gathers in cancerous areas. or at least that's my understanding of it. you can read way more than you'd ever want to know about positron emission tomography here.

to get the sugars flowing, the lab technician set up an IV, then brought over a big lead box, pulled out what looked like a small silver nuclear device AND THEN HOOKED IT UP TO THE IV AND PUT IT IN MY ARM. that was a little creepy. now i have a letter that i can give to people in case i set off any radioactivity detectors.

i gotta say though, the hardest part is SITTING STILL. no reading, no checking email, no texting. it was 45 minutes before the scan and then about an hour laying on my back and staying perfectly still. i'm not good at sitting still.

so now i wait for results. i should have a full pathology report by the end of the day, friday morning at the latest. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that the cancer is localized to the mole/lymph node area on my upper left leg.

in the meantime, i'm hoping that my exposure to radiation and gamma rays will give me some sort of superpowers. i'm thinking flight, or maybe reed richards' stretchy body.

so...

hey readers - an update for you. not exactly the funniest post ever, so if you need something funny, watch this.

i'm just back from the hospital. here's the latest:

after the oncologist took one look at my walnut-sized lymph node, she said the biopsy was more or less a formality and that we should prepare for surgery. after some blood tests i went down and got my PET scan scheduled for tomorrow. i should have a full pathology report by tomorrow afternoon or friday and then we'll know a lot more about what's real and how far (if at all) beyond the lymph node the cancer has spread.

in the meantime, my surgery is scheduled for friday the 9th of may - which coincidentally is also when my dad comes into town. it'll be SO nice to have him here, especially since they say i'll have drainage problems in my leg after the surgery so i can't leave the hospital for at least a couple of days. that sounds like an awesome weekend! also, once i escape NYU i'll be on crutches for a couple weeks. i am SO not looking forward to commuting on crutches.

i should know a lot more after the scan and report tomorrow. thanks to everyone who has texted or emailed or called or just psychically sent their love. i'll keep y'all posted.

best boss ever.

my boss just bought me a copy of t.c. boyle's water music!

for those who missed it, the same book was knocked out of my hands and down onto the subway tracks. i was really missing it and my commute was suddenly endless without a good book.

but now it's back!

best boss ever.

tuesday.

why we desperately need wikipedia in our lives every day...

Tuesday is the day of the week between Monday and Wednesday.

...In business, particularly office work, studies have shown that Tuesday is usually the most productive day of the week. Some of these people consider Tuesday to be their least favorite day, because they are not as relaxed as Monday (due to the weekend preceding it), yet they still have most of the work week ahead of them.

whoa.

what a crazy busy day! so much to do! the day is just flying by! i was stressed that our new office phones would be a total disaster, but it seems like everything is going ok. for now i'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

also, i have a biopsy scheduled for wednesday. hopefully that will go as well as our new phone system!

weekend!

well, my anti-rain dance totally worked and we had an awesome barbeque! incredible food and great people. i think i'm going to do that monthly. why not?

after the party wound down i went out for a nightcap. the rain was starting to fall just as i got home. i walked up the stairs and discovered that the last person to leave had closed and locked the door at the top of the stairs, which is proper apartment party etiquette but WE DON'T HAVE A KEY FOR THAT DOOR. i seriously almost cried. i did not feel like sleeping on my stairs.

SO I KICKED DOWN THE DOOR.

it was so bad-ass. i'm not much of a bad-ass so i have to fully embrace it every chance i get! if you ever have a chance to kick down a door, it's awesome. just aim next to the door handle. i got through on the first kick! the door is fine but i did manage to crack the frame in half. ha ha! good thing we don't have a lease!

i hope you all have an awesome, bad-ass door-kicking monday. my day is great so far - especially the part where the subway doors closed on me and knocked my book out of my hands and DOWN THROUGH THE GAP ONTO THE TRACKS. and just as the hero-explorer returned home to his long-suffering penelope!

does anyone have a copy of t.c. boyle's water music?

kings of kings county

big update! who are the kings of kings county?

me! i am! and my friend bk11201.

do you read the brooklyn daily eagle? well if you do then you would see THIS ARTICLE TODAY THAT MENTIONS MY BLOG BY NAME!

Historically Speaking: Researching Brooklyn — Online

2nd to last paragraph:

Adventures in Brooklyn and BK 11201 recount personal tales with pictures. Brooklyn Enthusiast deals with food and recipes as does Bread, Coffee, Chocolate, Yoga and All in Brooklyn. Frisket of Hicks Street recently became Frisket of Main Street: it’s about this dog. Two others have Brooklyn Bridge pix: Never Sleepist and Sam I Am.

WE FINALLY MADE IT! FAME AND FORTUNE IS OURS FOREVER!

don't post before coffee

ok this day is actually turning out alright.

this makes me feel better.

awesome.

this day is going to be awesome.

follow these steps to have an awesome day:

step one: wake up at six am groggy with a slight hangover. don't go back to sleep!

step two: murderous cops acquitted for shooting a man 50 times the night before his wedding.

step three: discover that dhl lost your present for a departing co-worker on her last day.

step four: find out that rain is more than likely for your big weekend barbeque.

step five: call from doctor reveals positive test for melanoma.

step six: oooh, what's next? how much more awesome can this day get?

i think i'll move to australia.

busy!

dang, another busy day. i was hoping to spend all day posting.

ah, work. if you didn't pay my bills, i would totally break up with you.

my favorite day

today i switched to iced coffee!!! that's my favorite day.

yes, i know i'm a bit behind.

my god it's beautiful today. madison square park has never looked better. except that there are no silver trees, which is still a little sad to me.

so as you know, i cleaned my patio on tuesday night. last night it was time for spring cleaning of my room. is there anything as satisfying? (yes. iced coffee.) i even found a way to display my ever-expanding collection of bar coasters.

my housemate asked me, where did you get all of these?

um....

the day for us

as some of my blog cohorts have recently pointed out, today is administrative professionals day. i saw that tempy was feeling neglected and i decided to let my co-workers know that it was a day to celebrate, um, me. i jokingly let them know that the day was running out and if they had any surprise plans for me that it was probably time to give me the flowers, chocolate and bottles of single malt scotch they were hiding under their desks.

and you know what? they actually produced a card signed by my boss - who has been in nashville since yesterday morning! it's a snoopy card and it has that lovable, incomprehensible yellow bird woodstock answering the phones and fixing the computers and finding lost files and it says (folding out)

You have a way...
Of saving the day...
EVERY DAY!

i am a little teary-eyed.

to my co-workers, i say

| | | |
| | |
| | |

y'know, like how woodstock speaks in lines?

you know what i like?

getting our new phones and internet working. i am the best office administrator ever.

last night

instead of going to an awesome show like my blogging friends one and two i decided to clean my patio. and it looks great, thanks for asking.

costumar

so... do i need to be in a costume to use your bathroom? i'm confused.

visiting the doctor

so my health benefits kicked in this month. it's been five years since i had insurance. and just about as long since i was at the doctor.

this morning i went to the doctor.

you know what?

i hate going to the doctor. they strip you down to your underwear, they poke and prod and question. so little personal connection.

now, i did have a reason to go. that lymph node continues to grow. and the mole on my left thigh was of epic proportions before its mostly painless removal this morning. i love that my leg was cauterized this morning.

i wasn't too worried about it until my new doctor sent me immediately to a dermatologist who saw me as soon as i got there and put a rush order on my newly-liberated mole and considering a potential biopsy next week.

yay for cancer scares!



see? i never should have gone to the doctor.

dear jewish co-worker,

thank you for passover leftovers.

the brisket was delicious.

as were the coconut macaroons.



i wish every day were passover.

yogurt castle mystery

welcome to the yogurt castle in downtown walnut creek, california. i was there last weekend. mmmm, vanilla fro-yo with gummi bears... the taste of childhood.

walking back to the car. giggling with my sisters. creating a new theme song for yogurt castle: "take me away to land of magic... and yogurt."

then i noticed this on their back door:


it says "STOP SPITTING IN ME FOOD."

we can interpret this in a number of ways.

t's possible that a pirate lives behind the door. as in, "ARRRRRR! STOP SPITTING IN ME FOOD!"

or perhaps it's a message from the door. "STOP SPITTING IN ME." and then the door is named food. or it's aimed at someone named food. i like this one and imagine it being delivered in the same tone that billy madison says "STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN!"

i suppose it's possible that yogurt castle customers, disillusioned by low yogurt-based standards, started spitting inside the castle's back door to express their displeasure. and the staff wanted to warn them that was food inside the door and that people should stop spitting.

it's the personification of the door that is most puzzling. it's not "STOP SPITTING IN HERE." it's "IN ME." like the door is personally offended.

this appears to be a mystery that will forever remain unsolved.

it was me. i'm sorry.

who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m - 27 (crown heights)

---

Reply to: pers-649331801@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-20, 12:56PM EDT

a) how did you get into my mailbox in the first place, it is locked
b) did you kill the bird
c) it died horribly, that much was clear
d) you're psycho
e) do I know you
f) if I do know you I don't want to know you
g) if I don't know you, what did I do to inspire you to put a dead bird in my mailbox
h) I don't know how to disinfect a mailbox from a dead bird, I'm worried about diseases and have used five different kinds of cleaner but still feel like the bird's still in there still and like my bills and my catalogues and my coupons have dead bird on them
i) it was a hummingbird, I looked it up - they don't even live in New York - this is so f*ing psycho, I can't believe this
j) are you the mailman?
k) I'm always nice to the mailman
l) the super didn't care when I told him what happened
m) the neighbors didn't care either
n) do you have some kind of problem with birds
o) don't put anything else in my mailbox
p) unless it's an apology
q) no, I take that back, I don't even want an apology
r) what am I supposed to do with this bird - it's in bubblewrap in a bag in a shoebox in the freezer right now - am I supposed to bury it - where? how? in a construction site where they've jackhammered through the concrete - where is a person supposed to bury things in this city?
s) I could drop it in the Gowanus canal, but that seems undignified
t) I could drop it in the ocean, but the ocean is so big and it is such a small bird
u) I could drop it in the toilet but it would probably get stuck
v) I hear this whirring around my ears every time I go to the mailbox and I'm pretty sure it's ghost bird, and I'm all "it wasn't me that killed you, bird!" but still the whirring doesn't go away until I get to the stairwell
w) am I supposed to eat it - maybe you were trying to feed me - don't you know I'm a vegetarian
x) if this was Ricky, I'm gonna beat your ass, mama told you stop bothering the zoo
y) if this was Gina, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, how many times I gotta say I'm sorry
z) I could drop it off the roof, maybe it will reincarnate while falling and I can start reading my mail again

your new boyfriend

GUNS AND GUITAR HERO!! YES!!

SO HOTTTT!

use with caution

i just answered a question from a friend and her response to my answer was "snizzle."

do you know what that means? i didn't. so i looked it up. not sure that i should have.

warning! this is dirty.

from urbandictionary.com

snizzle	:
	A clean shaven, tight and ripe young vagina. When bent over the snizzle replicates the look of a freshly sliced Freestone peach. Snizzle ceases to exist around the age of 25 years old, often younger. At which point becomes a Frazzle.

somehow i don't think that's what my friend meant.

but now we all know. and knowing is half the battle. GI JOE!

i miss you

hello blog. i miss you! i wish i wasn't so busy. also i wish i could get our new office t1 working. damn you slow internet!

no no no no no no no.

i've never liked microsoft. but this is just totally unacceptable.

want to?

so busy!

i hate it when my job prevents me from posting all day. boooo!

i hope you guys are doing well. let's hang out after i've slept like a hundred hours in a row.

so very, very tired

my advice: don't EVER fly a cross country red eye and go straight to work. it's not fun. i am so tired i can barely function. which would be awesome if i could just relax at home. no such luck!

california was pretty rad. i hiked through the redwoods. i ate mexican food. i watched charlie rose with my grandparents. i took naps with my grandparents. i said goodbye to my grandparents, potentially for the last time, which was really not so rad. in fact it was pretty sad. but if my spine was slowly disintegrating for the last 20 years, i think i might be ready to go too.

i'm too tired and sad for more. maybe tomorrow after some non-airplane-based sleep.

wide open spaces

inside the gated walls of my grandparents' retirement village, the roads are double-wide to accommodate swerving. awesome.

sunny with a chance of wildflowers

they don't??

proving the existence of god

5-Day Forecast for ZIP Code 94710 Berkeley, CA Friday Saturday Sunday Monday 76° F | 50° F 24° C | 10° C 77° F | 49° F 25° C | 9° C 72° F | 49° F 22° C | 9° C 59° F | 49° F 15° C | 9° C Clear Clear Clear Clear

whew!

i'm leaving for california tomorrow morning and things have been crazy here! it definitely didn't help that i lost all the work i did yesterday afternoon. i was working on a photoshop piece and took out all the layers that separate all the objects (logos, text boxes etc) to turn it into a pdf and i could have sworn i didn't save it that way. but i did. so i had to do it all over again from scratch. boooo for making mistakes.

working under the gun to prepare press packets for a meeting is difficult with this unbelievably slow inkjet printer i have.

my big accomplishment today: a friend of mine works for 20 minutos, a spanish daily in the a.m./metro vein. for those of you who speak spanish, here's his blog: http://blogs.20minutos.es/entradagratuita/

he's working on a story about the olympic torch protests in san francisco and was trying to get in touch with someone involved. i still have a strand or two of connection to my days as an erstwhile political activist in the bay, and they are still just strong enough. thanks to a friend, i was able to track down the email of one of the climbers from the golden gate banner hang.

and there is my contribution to international journalism for the day.

[pats self on back]

are you married to the sea?

hoooo boy!

my friend * is providing me with all my material today. good thing, since i'm busy! check out the video she sent me. thanks *! you're a true friend, even if you slapped me once.

ghosts...

is not only a play by ibsen. i've had enough ghostly experiences in my life to have developed my own theories about their existence. i once spent a night in my friend's haunted michigan lake house - years later during renovations it turned out the bed i slept in was immediately above an unmarked grave...

but i've never gotten postcards from the dead. check out this email from a friend:

I am NOT open-minded about talking to the dead, but I have gotten two actual communications from Matt posthumously. One was a postcard that didn't arrive until after he died that he sent from Boston and it had a picture of a sheep dressed as a prostitute on it, and all matt had written was "enough said." I wonder what he was exactly thinking....but the thought of the slutty sheep is always something that makes me chuckle.

The other was a voicemail that somehow didn't show up on my phone until after he died. And it is a message of him singing (which may not come across in email) "I am hungry and I want some dinner." I think it is the perfect message from him because it is such a typical example of how something that was so mundane, with Matt became exciting, fun, and interesting.

yay mets! boo mets bullpen.

i took yesterday off for the final opening day ever at shea stadium. they've made incredible progress on the absolutely gorgeous new park next door - can't wait for 2009. think the mets will have hired a bullpen that can get first pitch strikes and not walk number nine hitters? cause that would be really nice.

pictures!

the importance of internet video

so the company that takes care of our office internet came in to do some repairs a couple weeks ago and discovered that they had accidentally given us unlimited bandwidth. so they scaled back our internet speed to the lowest level.

and our lives changed forever. or until the t1 line is installed.

now a 2 minute video clip takes 10 minutes to load. 10 minutes! what am i supposed to do with that time? actual work? who do these people think i am?

so people, if you have funny videos of babies laughing or people singing strange songs about chocolate rain, save them for late april when our internet is upgraded.

thanks!

oh well, whatever, never mind.

i was worried about diddy. it looked like he had tried to kill 2pac. but it's all lies!

The Times retracts Tupac Shakur story

busy monday!

ok i am busy today. no messin around. minimal posting. one thought though:

how freaking ridiculously beautiful was it on saturday? i walked all over brooklyn and manhattan with my dad, from the heights to the empire ferry, from koreatown to the west village and all points in between. my god, this city can sparkle.

SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SPRING???!?!?!

this grayness and 40 degree temperatures is so not ok. good thing i'm going to california on friday morning!

ok now i have to write things about zootopia. the lineup won't be released until tonight, but i know you'll all be knocking down my door to get tickets!

my brain on friday

if only...

red tail hawks are awesome

i've always been a big fan of the red tail hawk. they're ubiquitous out west, and i've wanted to get one tattooed on me for a long time.

but now, i've got to say, my respect for them is on a whole new level...

An omen? Hawk attacks girl with a familiar-sounding name at Fenway

(John Tlumacki/Globe Staff)

By Andrew Ryan, Globe Staff

A certain New York Yankee slugger should beware: A student taking a tour of Fenway Park today was attacked by a red-tailed hawk that swooped off its nest, drawing blood from the girl’s scalp.

Her name: Alexa Rodriguez. Her age: 13, the same jersey number the Yankee third baseman wears.

“She’s fine, a little shaken, but OK,” said Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned Rodriguez's class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn.

The eighth-grader was taken by ambulance to a local hospital and treated for the small scratch on her scalp.

The 3 1/2-pound hawk has been building nests at Fenway since 2002, but has always been chased out before opening day so she and her mate could find a new home, said Tom French, assistant director of MassWildlife.

This spring the raptor used a brown-knit cap and twigs from trees on Yawkey Way to build a nest on a green overhang near the press booth above home plate. She laid a brown-speckled egg last week, but it rolled off the nest, wasn’t properly incubated, and was no longer viable, French said.

Wildlife officials removed the egg and the nest after the hawk's attack, which was captured by veteran Globe photographer John Tlumacki.

Could it be an omen for Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who once got in a glove-in-the-face scuffle with Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek at Fenway in 2004?

“I deal in science, not mythology,” French said, refusing to make any baseball predictions based on the feisty hawk. “Although you could say she has done a good job protecting her home plate.”

rain!

it's raining.

the band

ok my band is playing at southpaw tomorrow night and it will be fun.

i think i look silly in this picture. agreed?

life tracking by feltron

this is seriously amazing you guys.

this guy tracks his life minutae to an incomprehensible level.

he's just published his annual report.

wow. this is mind-blowing.

cats.

i'm amazed that tempy hasn't put this up yet. i'm happy to share with you all a wonderful site:

http://www.catsinsinks.com/ - "for all your cat and bathroom needs"

my pants are at risk

i forgot to wear a belt today! i hope my pants don't fall down.

sloooow

in case you can't tell, it's a slow day at work. post number seven!

who are the people in this picture? and why are they having a reunion? is this an april fools joke?

talk about 420 friendly!!!!

have you read the touching eulogy for magnetic field in the village voice? it's awesome. read it!

while reading the article, an ad for this site popped up.

http://www.potpartner.com/

"Welcome to Potpartner.com, we know how hard it is for people that smoke marijuana to be accepted by people who do not. You meet a new person, but bringing up that you like to smoke is often a deal break with someone that does not smoke. So here we are Potpartner.com is a place for people to find others that enjoy smoking marijuana or are tolerant to it. Potpartner.com is not a place to come score marijuana, this is a dating site pure and simple, and for people who like to smoke marijuana. We hope you enjoy our site."

ooooh! a bag!

what's in the bag?

Nine-year-olds plotted to tie up, hurt teacher

more magical instant messaging

from my buddy living on a farm in texas.

skiznap the misadventures of 18:01
so, a raccoon came up to the front door yesterday afternoon, which is weird because they usually dont come out during the day. he then casually walked into the shed. we thought he might of had rabies, so i go the gun out. he was hiding under a sheet of metal, but i could see his eyes. i shot him right between the eyes. when we went to get him later i saw that the bullet had went through his eye and came out his ass. wow

the best karaoke performance ever

i know we've had some seriously good karaoke times together.

but can anything beat this? not even abigail singing all right now.

what is this thing?

as i laid my head on my pillow last night, there was something wrong. it was quiet. TOO quiet. no dull thump of punk rock bass vibrating under me. no drunken screams. no brawling.

what is this thing called sleep? did i really just get seven completely uninterrupted hours? i honestly can't remember the last time i managed that.

last night after work i walked to union square and it was warm and beautiful and a metalhead totally smashed himself up on his skateboard and couples kissed and all was right with the world. and then i did yoga at jivamukti and ate my favorite salad ever at the gray dog cafe and then i called my grandparents and told them i loved them and then i went to sleep.

it was weird.

saturday survey

my pops is coming into town this weekend. i thought that i would see him for like two minutes, y'know, give him a high five, tell him everything's ok now that the bar has closed and i'm no longer an alcoholic.*

but now it turns out that we'll have a saturday night to go out on the town. and i'm looking for some help!

what should i do? so far things that appeal to me are patrick stewart's macbeth, paul simon at BAM or the ukulele festival in the LES. but i'm open to anything cool that's not too late, expensive or loud.

thanks!

*not necessarily true

is this real?

ok i know it's april fools day and that the press likes to make up stories.

what do you think -- is this real?

Undersea ironing record draws press

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A group of 72 Australian scuba divers has flattened the world record for ironing under water, taking the plunge off a pier near the southern city of Melbourne with ironing boards and irons, and their linen.

So-called "extreme ironing" has spawned a cult following in recent years. The Web site extremeironing.com espouses it as being the "latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt."

The Australian group, who pipped the previous mark of 70, are seeking entry to the Guinness book of world records after taking their linen into murky, 3-metre-deep (9.8 foot) ocean on Saturday.

"It was cold and I think they were bloody crazy," local councilor Tom O'Connor, who with police helped authenticate the new record, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Event organizer Debbie Azzopardi said the group eclipsed a 2005 record set in a swimming pool at nearby Geelong, which in turn beat a world mark set in New Zealand.

The irons all had their electrical cords removed for the attempt, which took place in chilly pre-winter seas.

"I was having a chardonnay (wine) a few years ago with a girlfriend and I thought I'm going to beat that. We had a few fish going by and a sting ray. It was great," Azzopardi said.

wait, for reals? extremeironing.com. wow.

a handy tool

so google pretty much runs my life. my email. my blog. my source for maps. shopping. information. calendar. pictures. etc etc etc.

check out their newest development...

yay for internet! boo for bars closing.

it feels a little strange to actually be at work right now. i was only 45 minutes late! and then discovered that the internet for the entire building was down. awesome.

so yeah, you all know that fun died last night. magnetic field has officially closed its doors. i don't think i could put it any better than this.

it was an incredible experience, looking around last night and seeing endless faces of people i have come to care for so deeply, people that care for each other (even if "caring" sometimes means "let's drink all night"). what an amazing family that was, is, and will continue to be, in some form or another.

i am feeling awesome today. april = detox!

my new best friend, or, why i should always check craigslist

hadn't checked missed connections today. wow.

i don't think this counts as a missed connection. more like an activity partner... for some strange-ass activities.

laid back guy looking for buds to hang naked - m4m

---

i have a huge dvd collection, love to find a bud to get naked and watch movies with (real movies, independent, etc) chat, have a drink, etc, all totally naked. I had naked friends in the past and it's great to hang out, watched, be watched, and bond as buddies that way. I am a creative dude, a writer, good looking, so just looking for friends to get nude and chill, you must host.

why i love instant messaging

my friend is a 5th grade teacher. a holocaust survivor came to visit her class last week.

here's the chat transcript.

11:35:13 AM x@gmail.com: guess what i heard a 95 year old holocaust survivor say on friday

11:35:26 AM x@gmail.com: if you think being in a nazi concentration camp is hard, try being in a nazi concentration camp with your wife AND your girlfriend

11:35:56 AM x@gmail.com: the best part was he was speaking to a class of 5th graders
as if they would say "man thats rough, ive been there"

powerpoint revisited

as i explained earlier, i wrote a song about powerpoint.

as usual, the comic genius of toothpastefordinner is right there with me.

more reasons not to drink

ok, one last night people. tonight is the last night of magnetic field's life. after being sick all week and only going out friday, i think i need to get some of those so-called "rocks" off tonight.

but i just wanted to remind you not to have sex with tables.

Man Faces Charges for Having Sex With Picnic Table

Ohio police have arrested a man who was caught on tape allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue, Ohio, was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him engaged sexually with the metal table, according to a report on FOX19.com.

Price was seen on four separate occasions, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon, having sex with the picnic table, Bellevue Police Capt. Matt Johnson told the TV station.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude," Johnson said, noting the table in question had a hole in the middle intended to hold an umbrella.

Price, a married father of three school-age kids, faces felony counts of public indecency because his house is near an elementary school, according to the report.

do you think he's pen pals with this guy?

evil

i'm still sick and have made it through a half day but i'm done.

here's one last horrible, horrible thing before the weekend. i'm sorry. but i can't resist.

why not to drink

this is the last weekend of debauchery!* the bar closes its doors tuesday morning. i've informed my boss that i may be a bit late that tuesday. and by a bit i mean a lot. and by late i mean massively hungover and reeking of whiskey.

so for all of us, i thought it would be nice to have a reminder of a good reason to stay sober. thanks neil!

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

"alcohol played a large role" - HMMM YA THINK?





*at magnetic field. what, like i'm stopping?!?

sicko

i took my first sick day yesterday. y'know what's awesome? i still get paid! suckers.

i have some work to do since i was out yesterday.

did you hear it might snow tonight? is anyone else totally over it?

pitchfork = cool... right?

my band luff is mentioned in pitchfork. i think that means we are cool.

Blonde Redhead, Jesu, Black Francis Cover the Cure
As do CocoRosie, Tanya Donelly, Raveonettes, Bat for Lashes, Rosebuds, Brunettes, Ariel Pink
The sheer number of Cure cover/tribute albums already in existence is pretty goddamned absurd, so does the world really need two more of these things? Well, if you're willing to wager on a bunch of bands who have done us good in the past, the answer is yes.

Both Just Like Heaven: A Tribute to the Cure and Perfect as Cats: A Tribute to the Cure (henceforth known in this news piece as Heaven and Cats, respectively) boast fairly formidable rosters of indie rockers trying their hands at Robert Smith and company's best mope-alongs.

Heaven comes at us courtesy of American Laundromat Records and will feature the Raveonettes, the Rosebuds, the Brunettes, Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies (not to be confused with Stars of Track and Field), Elk City, Joy Zipper, and Grand Duchy (aka Black Francis and Violet Clark), among others, tackling pretty much all the hits: "Close to Me", "Just Like Heaven", "Lovesong", "In Between Days", "Pictures of You", and so on. If American Laundromat sounds familiar, they also did that (almost) all-lady Neil Young tribute.

The Raveonettes: "A Forest"
Grand Duchy: "A Strange Day"
The Submarines: "Boys Don't Cry"
Elk City: "Close to Me"
Kitty Karlyle: "In Between Days"
Luff: "Jumping Someone Else's Train"
Joy Zipper: "Just Like Heaven"
The Rosebuds: "Killing an Arab"
Cassettes Won't Listen: "Let's Go to Bed"
The Brunettes: "Lovesong"
Elizabeth Harper & the Matinee: "Pictures of You"
Tanya Donelly with Dylan in the Movies: "The Lovecats"

get charlie off the MTA

coming to work early this morning, i realized the utter importance of working a job in this town that starts at 10 am. the crush of people was suffocating - i can't wait until i get to do that all summer long!

but here's the problem - tomorrow i'll have to buy my first monthly pass since the fare increase. $81 a month, no small change on my meager (to say the least) nonprofit salary.

hey, at least the system has a monthly pass - i have friends who commute in san francisco on BART that pay $150 a month, and that doesn't covert the buses/streetcars/cable cars. thank goodness the auto industry bankrupted effective public transit systems in the bay and all over the country....

but as i shuffled gingerly in my tiny space on the train, it didn't make me any happier that the MTA has postponed that all of the proposed developments that were the supposed reason behind the fare increase. awww, did the poor little MTA lose some money?? join the freakin' club!

i was all excited that the G train was slated for serious improvement - as the bastard child of the subway system, it could definitely use some work. and since i've just joined a kickball team called "booze on first" that plays in mccarren park, it would really be awesome if the g train was even a little more usable.

i guess it still is the train to nowhere.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww NOT WATER

reach into the fridge. pull out a nice, cold bottle of water. take a big swig. ahhhh, refreshing, isn't it?

AAAAAHHH IT'S NOT WATER!!!!

WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE TASTE?!?!?

look at the bottle. it says "Nestle Pure Life Kiwi-Strawberry Splash."

dump bottle out of window and fill with tap water.

DAMN IT NOW MY WATER TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRY YOGURT.

hospital visits

i work for a nonprofit that organizes musicians to play in hospitals.

too bad we don't work with animals...

Hospital bridles at horse in lift

The hospital's policy is to inspect all animals brought by visitors

A Hawaiian hospital has restated its rules on pets after a man took a horse up in a lift in a bid to cheer up a sick relative with his favourite steed.

Man and beast were stopped by security guards only after reaching the third floor, after apparently passing through the lobby unchallenged.

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

A hospital spokeswoman said there was a visitation policy for dogs and cats, but not for horses.

"We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse," said Lani Yukimura at Wilcox Memorial Hospital.

"It's a very dangerous thing. Our greatest concern is patient care."

Security managed to remove the visitor and the horse with "just a few scuff marks", she added.

According to the Star Bulletin newspaper, the man had arrived after staff at the front desk went home, and called from the lobby to announce his arrival.

After he and the horse were escorted out, he put the animal in a trailer in the car park and left, the paper adds.

In case you missed it:

The patient was allowed to see them but it turned out to be the wrong horse.

a letter to the internet

dear internet,

i want to watch youtube clips and listen to streaming audio.

why are you preventing me? how can i entertain myself?

and now my internet company won't answer their phone. booooooooooo!

my eyes hurt

i've spent the last five hours designing a CD label. thanks, avery, for making your labels mac-unfriendly.

my hands are covered in ink. my mouse and keyboard are covered in ink. my desk is covered in ruined labels.

boooooooooooooooo for monday.

easter excess

hello folks. i am tired. did you go to church yesterday? i was going to catch an afternoon service but someone lied about the schedule. so my church consisted of eating fantastic food and watching basketball.

jesus hates me. for the second year in a row.

but even jesus would have been jealous of our easter spread. grass-fed roasted lamb, peach-bourbon glazed ham, pork-fried collards, quiches, sweet potato gratin etc etc etc.

the buddhist grace from thich nhat hanh i said before the meal asked that "we take only that which nourishes." i'm afraid that was a little tough to follow.

also i met this guy named christopher who is an awesome photographer.

going in reverse, saturday night was the last night i will ever bartend at magnetic field.

:(::::::

that's supposed to be a crying emoticon but i think it looks more like a penis. it's not. it's me crying. stop laughing at my tears.

one more week left! it's really the end of an era. there are huge shows all this week so i have a feeling that my current tired state will last for quite some time.

friday night was the last MF show by my friends klimpter. they are awesome and it was sad to see them one last time on their home turf. :(:::::




maybe last exit should just build a stage. that would solve a lot of these emotional issues around the field closing.

enjoy your monday!

shopping!

i am done with the press kits and they look awesome!

i am going shopping. i love staples. i love going to staples with a corporate card even more!

who needs a new printer?

400th post!

averaging 200 posts a year. not too bad! having a full time desk job has definitely helped.

i said it yesterday, but i am SO TIRED of it being so cold. i just got the day off to go to the mets' opening day and it better be warm by then! go mets!

i have a lot of work to do today! i hope you can entertain yourselves. look at my friends' blogs if you're bored.

this is it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok that's better. sometimes i just need to scream. whew!

honest r&b

thanks lynne for this marvelous video. it won't embed for some weird reason, so you'll have to just go here.

anniversaries

turns out yesterday wasn't just my blog's two year birthday. it was also five years in iraq! five years. vanity fair & joseph stiglitz & linda rimes say the true cost of the war is 3 trillion dollars. way to spend, us! that's just terrifying isn't it? not as terrifying as accidental anal replacement. thanks tempy!

and today, appropriately, is the 50th anniversary of the peace symbol. have you ever wondered where that symbol came from? bbc, thank you for TOTALLY BLOWING MY MIND.

semaphore?!?!?!

the slog of march

i don't know how y'all are feelin but if it doesn't get warm soon i'm going to start going crazy. it's close, so very very close. but days in the high 30s are only ok without wind gusts of 25-30 miles per hour. it's bad enough down by the harbor, but in the deep chrome canyons of loudest manhattan, jeez it can get pretty intense. it just takes so much out of me, surviving this cold, forcing my way through the bitter breezes.

i guess i should count my blessings that i don't live in minnesota any more!

three degrees above zero with the wind chill right now in international falls. that is rough.

favorite videos

ok i obviously don't expect you to have time to watch all of these, but here are my favorite videos from the last two years. what a perfect way to spend a rainy afternoon!

nasal irrigation

earl weaver

she's the one

filipinos forced to dance

90210 twins

tokyo wave pool



adorable baby



AFSCME



star wars beauty queen



how not to make bread



frozen grand central